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Survivor story
#611
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Trust your body. You've got big reason to feel disconnected from you right now But your body always has your best interests in mind 💖 Someone was unkind to you in a way you never deserved Please offer yourself extra love, kindness, and tenderness as you heal
Message of Healing
When I think about my healing journey right now, I ultimately just want to feel more connected to myself. Accepting of safety and kindness and love.
It's so scary to talk about my rape, for the obvious reasons, but also because my abuser was my mom The CPS worker told me the day he met me he didn't believe me. "Moms don't do this kinda thing" I was 13 at the time. At the end of the case my mom had more custody than she started with. No one believed me. Most of my family cut off all contact as soon as the case started. The craziest part, I didn't understand anything. I was so young when it started, I didn't remember it super clearly and it felt pretty normal to me. I hadn't expected anything to come of it when I shared with a friend what had happened. They shared with their parents who contacted my dad. And on it goes.. The case ended the sexual abuse, but caused an extreme amount of physical and emotional abuse. Including threats to my life. I escaped, to university on scholarship at 18. Her only other child escaped as well. Things have been hard.. obviously But we're learning, growing Most importantly we're safe Very soon I will be cutting the final few ties I have to my mother I am marrying the love of my life Building a family, a community Despite her bitter selfish gluttony, I have not only survived, but I have found my value. I have found people that love me and genuinely want to see and hear me. Thank you for creating this space Genuinely - forever grateful 💛
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.