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Survivor story

Hope

Original story

Message to a Survivor

Praying for healing

Message of Healing

Being free from fear of being harmed.

Last year I disclosed information to my counselor about my husband abusing our son and my daughter, as well me for 20 years. She had to contact DCF and I had no idea. So she did, and they contacted me. I told them in great detail about the horrible abuse and fear we lived under. I gave them video proof and explained that both of my children were trauma bonded and I wanted them to be in counseling. Location DCF assured me they wouldn't let him know that I spoke to my counselor because it was putting me at risk of more domestic violence. They came to our home and they asked everyone but me questions separately. They then told my husband that I was the one who told my counselor. I heard one caseworker say it to him on the front porch. He began to use his narcissistic skills to persuade them to think differently and they got duped. They couldn't even spot that my children were traumatized and trying to protect their abuser by lying about the abuse. I have 0 faith in Location dept of Children and Families, and I never will. Yesterday, we were held in our home and once again were hurt. I tried to film it and my teenage daughter told her father he was being filmed.. She's so trauma bonded that she didn't care if her own mother was trying to protect the family from the monster in our home. He knows the police due to his involvement at the church but no one knows what goes on behind our doors. He tells us that if we try to come against him he will end us. After so much pain, we can't help but believe him. Please pray if you pray. Don't judge me because if you knew how much I've reached out only to have him narcissist his way out of being held accountable you would be here still trying to protect your children too.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.