Question

I'm in a wonderful but very new one-month relationship, and my partner just told me he's entering a 90-day treatment program. I'm one year into my own healing journey and didn't realize how new he was to his. He's asked me to wait for him, but I'm unsure - it's difficult to put my life on hold without knowing if his feelings will change during treatment. A lot of healing can shift perspectives. What should I do?

Answer

Thank you for reaching out to us. It is understandable that you're feeling uncertain about this relationship. While your connection feels meaningful, one month is a relatively short time to build the foundation needed for a 90-day separation, especially when both people are at different stages in their healing journeys.

From my perspective, you may not need to make a firm decision right now. If the program allows, you could maintain light contact during his treatment while continuing to live your life without making concrete promises. This gives you the flexibility to see how you feel as time progresses and reassess when he completes the program. His choice to seek treatment is positive - it shows commitment to growth. However, you're right that intensive healing work often changes people's perspectives and priorities.

Remember that it's not selfish to prioritize your own wellbeing or to feel uncertain. You've invested a year in your personal growth, and that should remain your priority. Instead of thinking about it as "waiting" or putting your life "on hold," perhaps consider using these 90 days to continue focusing on your own growth while keeping an open mind about the future. Whatever you decide, make sure it comes from a place of self-care rather than obligation. There's no wrong choice here - only what's right for you at this time in your journey. I hope this helps and wish you luck as you navigate this uncertain time. You are not alone.