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Survivor story

Trying to find who I truly am

Original story

Message to a Survivor

I don't like to let this define me, I went on and married the love of my life, I have had kids and I love my family dearly. I worked and bought a house and on the outside I am normal. I am ok having two personas because for me I need to because he took enough from me that I won't let him take any more than he did.

Message of Healing

I want to find out who I am. I want to be able to find my voice and not just comply because that is what I was conditioned to do so y0ung.

I feel that I have never been able to be who I truly am. I was abused by my uncle from I think around 6 until 18. We lived with them and the reason I don't know the age I was when it started is that I remember nothing in my life prior to it. I know the exact story of the first time it happened and it then happened so frequently that I couldn't count. Many times a day, many days a week, many weeks a year etc. It has ruined who I am and my personality now is one of full compliance. I can't say no to people, i let people abuse me in many ways, not just sexually because I do what I have to to please those around me. I told no one of the abuse until 18, and have only told my husband. I have now found out that another cousin suffered the same and her life is absolutely off the rails. I think it happened to all of us, there are five girls but we simply never speak of it. He is still alive, I don't see him, none of us do as he is a drug addict. I want to seek justice but don't know if I am strong enough to survive that. He made my life a nightmare, he changed who I was, he destroyed me.

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