--- title: Narcissistic Abuse 10 Years Isolation ~ Our Wave Community description: I am an independent woman who did not grow up in a loving home, but had nonetheless moved from the UK to Australia, and had managed to live a reasonably... url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇦🇺 ##### Survivor story # Narcissistic Abuse 10 Years Isolation Original story ##### Message to a Survivor My message to others is that even if you are not believed by those closest to you, or worse, even if you are believed but they just do not care about you - do not let that deter you from sharing your lived experience. Another person in the world will be strengthened by your story. ##### Message of Healing Yes, I believe healing has occurred when I am able to live fully in the present, and not in the past and being tethered still to those who abused me. I am an independent woman who did not grow up in a loving home, but had nonetheless moved from the UK to Australia, and had managed to live a reasonably productive life by hard work and paying my bills on time. I enjoy solo travel, exploring new courses and film and am not afraid to try new adventures. It is important that I set up my story this way, in order to show that I have a lot of resilience and self reliance - however, this would not protect me when the unthinkable happened. 10 years ago, I was 51 years old, and managing stress, mortgage repayments, and looming and unpredictable menopause symptoms which I hadn't yet fully processed or mastered yet. During this 'transition' I remained productive, working, going out, going to the gym, believing that I was doing the right thing - and had no idea that my struggle with symptoms and stress overwhelm had set me up to attract a most sadistic, predatory abuser. I barely knew him, he was a personal trainer at my gym. I recognised his behaviour as kind of perhaps that of being offended by me. He was a dominant male, with lots of people vying for his attention and unfortunately, with my menopausal symptoms being new to me and unpredictable, I chose to keep a low profile, get my reps over and done with, then exit the gym, though remaining polite as I went about my routine. The personal trainer began a smear campaign, and it became obvious from the behaviours of other staff members that something was brewing. I chose to come to the gym at odd times or alternative days and downplayed what was happening. Finally, I was pushed into taking action, having been ambushed by some members (who physically sandwiched themselves front and back by members) as I coming into the gym. The personal trainer had pushed his campaign to becoming almost physical, and at this point, I left the gym, but not without putting in a written complaint to management and a detailed explanation of what had happened. I thought that would be the end of it. Little did I know, it was just the beginning. This personal trainer was psychopathic, a very very clever abuser, with a range no doubt of extreme level personality disorders. Within 2 months, he had moved into my apartment complex, and began recruiting my existing neighbours to carry out abuse by proxy. Ceilings and walls were banged, synchronised events - and I was now under siege. I had street theatre out side of my window, right around the clock and relentless, death threats, gang stalking and noticed that my contacts on Face Book and my work place relationships were all changing, and were replicating some of the phrases and behaviours of those already recruited in the smear campaign. This man, had thus, infiltrated every corner of my life, and recruited all people who were closest to me. This is a common scenario when being abused narcissistically. Eventually, I had to let the people go, it was too toxic and unhealthy. My now ex mother and ex sister were also recruited by him, and to this day, have dropped contact with me, and stand firmly with his dominance in this situation fully supporting him. The smear campaign was long term - and although the shouting has subsided, what remains is his dominance in the community, he gains entry to people's dwellings, and is constantly inside my devices, tracking, monitoring and controlling for new alliances that I may form which he is paranoid about. I had reported frequently to the local Police, and unfortunately without anyone to corroborate my story and objective evidence I was not able to prove my situation to them and all they did was to send me to acute care with a complete misunderstanding of the situation I was dealing with. Almost 10 years passed. I had stood my ground, and had survived, and wasn't pushed out of my home (which he had pressured me to do so). I stayed in resistance to his 'game' of trying to make me less financially secure, or have homelessness insecurity. I had withstood his attempts and remained solid, thanks really to my self reliance as a person. Me, an almost senior aged single woman now, and him, in his prime, with powerful allies, with enormous support and resources and the benefits of having taken all of mine now his. The crux of the story is actually not about this psychopathic person. But rather, how our leaders in our community are afraid to "judge" and he was permitted to stay and had the OK from my now ex-mother to engage me by acting out as part of his "therapeutic" process. To this day, he has never accepted an invitation to 'communicate' with me as an adult and explain himself and try to work out an outcome he would be happy with. I stood my ground, but with his current dominance and tracking, i am not able to pursue "fair go" relationships, and the social isolation he has created is a common trait with abusers. This is why I am using my voice and to share my story. This is every bit about him as it is the character of those who can make a difference in the face of extreme abuse, and choosing the path that was easiest, rather than what was right. Thank you for hearing the intro to my story. I am wondering if I will use what has happened to write a book? Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872#comments) - Report #### Just Checking... #### Discard Message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay [\[Image: United States\]United States](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=pa)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872)[Español](/es/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872)[日本語](/ja/story/narcissistic-abuse-10-years-isolation-1872) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready