--- title: Coercive control ~ Our Wave Community description: He and I met on (date). I was 17 and he was 19. I had just gotten back to Australia after living in America for a year when I decided to text him that I was... url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/story/coercive-control-1958.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇦🇺 ##### Survivor story # Coercive control Original story Community note This story contains references to self-harm or suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a crisis helpline. ##### Message to a Survivor i hope that what happened to me can help another through their own experience ##### Message of Healing healing takes time. i’m still struggling with what happened to me but i know that with time one day it won’t hurt as much He and I met on date. I was 17 and he was 19. I had just gotten back to Australia after living in America for a year when I decided to text him that I was back. We had been talking on Snapchat for a few months so he invited me out for a walk to get coffee. Our first meeting went well and we started hanging out regularly. During the course of our year and a half relationship, moments turned sour. “What else are you into?” he asked while we were having sex. “I don’t know. What about you?” I replied. “Slapping.” I was taken aback, but since I had feelings for him I wanted to impress him. Big mistake. “You want to slap me?” I asked hesitantly. “Kinda.” “Okay. We can try it.” So he slapped me across the face. It stung but I didn’t show it. “You like that?” he grinned. “Yeah.” I didn’t but I was too caught up in my feelings to say that. “You can slap me too if you want.” I never consented to slapping again; he never asked. Some time after, I refused to give him a kiss so he grabbed my hair and pulled me towards him. I pulled away and he slapped me. I kissed him so he wouldn’t do it again. I felt scared when he did that because he hadn’t asked to slap me and he did it because I had refused him a kiss. Similarly, another time he was asking for a kiss when I was on top of him. I laughed and pulled away. “Please.” He begged. “Nuh uh.” I giggled. “Please?” He asked again. I shook my head as he puckered his lips. I kissed him everywhere on the face except his lips. He didn’t say anything after that, just looked at my necklace and grabbed it, ripping it from around my neck. We stared at each other for seconds before I laughed so I wouldn’t cry. He said something about it being cheaply made. He offered to buy me a new one but I said I’d fix it at home. I learned later that it was too damaged to be fixed. That shocked me. I was going to cry but I put on a brave face for him because I didn’t know what he would do if he saw me cry. I was scared when he reached out to grab it and he pulled me forward as I tried to pull away and it broke the necklace. Another day we were curled up in front of the TV when I blurted out: “What’s your weirdest kink?” He thought for a moment before answering. “Blood,” he said. What was I supposed to say to that? I went along with it because I was curious and I didn’t expect it to go as far as it did. “Huh. Want to add more?” I asked, indicating the scars of self-harm on my arm. Stupid answer. Was I trying to impress him? Maybe I thought it was hot at the time? He chuckled. “Don’t have a sharp enough knife, I’m afraid. But when I get one, would you like to add some to me?” “Only if you want me to.” A moment of silence broken only by the TV. “How about you?” He asked. I was staring at the TV and distracted from the conversation, kind of hoping if I disappeared into the video that was playing the conversation would end. “Huh?” I eventually answered. “What’s your weirdest kink?” “Similar to yours; I like knives.” Again, I was trying to impress him. I was thinking about the time a guy I hooked up with name gave me a hunting knife because I said I sold mine. “I have a knife.” He had a pocketknife that he opened packages with. “I know. Want to give it a try?” “Do you want to?” “Sure.” No. Why did I say that? He got up, retrieved his pocketknife and returned to the bed. We made out, got undressed and soon enough, he slipped inside me and brought the blade to my throat. Maybe he asked where and I said hold it against my neck? I dunno, just not near my tits. That’s really funny now because I have my nipples pierced. He had his eyes closed and was focused on our lips and he accidentally poked the side of my neck. That hurt. I pulled away from his kiss to hold his hand as he held it. I was worried because I thought he should’ve been paying more attention so I wouldn’t get hurt. I didn’t mention it until the next time we hung out. The next time(date 2), he begged to cut off my underwear. I said okay, as long as he didn’t bring the knife near my throat again. He started hacking away and once there was a giant hole, he gave up and pulled them off before positioning himself between my legs and thrusting. He brought the knife to my throat. Thinking he had misheard me, I asked him to put it down. Through kisses, he asked why and I explained that he had poked my neck last time and I wasn’t interested in that happening again. He promised it wouldn’t and we kept going. I felt annoyed that he didn't move the knife when I asked him to but he kept kissing me so I was distracted by that. I think I asked him to put it down again after that. Perhaps not, I really don’t remember. I did try to push it away but he wouldn’t move his hand so it ended up being me pushing and him holding it in place. I stopped fighting against him but I kept my hand there. This was really frightening. I didn’t want the knife there and he wouldn’t move it. He asked if I wanted to top and I said sure so we switched positions and when I was settled, he handed me the knife. As I went to put it down beside us, he took my hand and assisted me in holding it against his throat. Full on holding my hand with the knife in it against his throat. This was uncomfortable and disturbing because I wanted to put it down. I kissed him and told him I wanted to put it down and finally he gave in. When we were finished, I told him again that I didn’t want the knife near my throat because he poked me before. He shrugged and said, “oh sorry.” I don’t understand why he didn’t respect my initial no, I figured it was because of that old saying that everyone thinks at one point or another. ‘Boys will be boys’. When I asked him to stop, he should’ve stopped. Instead, he put me in an impossible situation where I had a knife at my throat and a man on top of me who refused to remove it. He made me complicit by putting the knife in my hand. I went to his house again after that and his hand tried to go up my shirt but I stopped him. I said, “No sex; just kisses.” “Just kisses?” He asked. I nod. “Okay.” He said. We kiss every few minutes while taking breaks to watch TV. His hand kept running up and down my hip and thigh. I took his hand and placed it on my thigh, telling him to ‘stay’. We kept kissing and his hand slowly trailed along my thigh and down to my butt, squeezing and stroking gently. I didn’t want him to do this. I wanted to kiss, cuddle and watch TV. He continued to escalate. I moved it back to my thigh and told him to leave it there. He tried to put his leg between my thighs like he’d do when we were naked before sex and doing a bit of foreplay. “Move your leg.” “Sorry.” He grumbled. His hand kept moving so I rolled over and put his hand on his thigh. “Stop touching me.” My turn to grumble. He asked, “Why?” “Because you’re making me horny.” “Good; be horny with me.” He said as he started kissing my neck and pressed his erection against my butt. “Not today. Don’t feel like it.” I moved my legs up and wiggled forward so my butt and his erection were inches apart. He stretched and moved his thighs so they were pressed against the back of my thighs and his erection was back against my butt. Every time he asked again or moved so he was touching me it annoyed me and made me uncomfortable but I gave in because he kept asking and I figured I’ve had sex with him before and he’s not taking no for an answer so why don’t I just give it up to him? I rolled back around to face him and we kissed again. “Please, I need you.” He begged against my lips. I’m sure his boner wasn’t comfortable. So, I gave in. “I need you too, pretty.” “Can we fuck?” He asked. “Okay.” I did not want to have sex with him. I was just there for kisses and cuddles. I gave in because he wouldn’t stop asking. His hand went under my shirt and bra and he pulled both up. I removed them for him and he removed his own before settling back down with his thigh between mine. “Grind for me.” He commanded. “But I want you to fuck me.” “I will. Grind first.” I tried to protest but he started kissing and sucking on my nipples and instead, I moaned. I didn’t want to grind. I just wanted to get sex over with. But he kept telling me to grind and he started grinding so I couldn’t really do anything else. He started grinding so I followed and grinded against his thigh as we made out. As I got closer to orgasming, I said, “Please stop.” He paused and asked, “Why, baby?” “‘cause I’m gonna cum.” He continued to grind even though I had stopped. This was frightening because my body was like yes I want to orgasm but my mind was like no not like this. “Good girl,” he moaned. “Cum for me.” “But I’m wearing pants—“ Valid reason for stopping, again not sure why he pushed through. “Shhh, that’s okay.” He took hold of my hips and guided me along his thigh, causing me to orgasm. My face was hot with embarrassment and I hid in his neck. When he stopped, he asked, “Did you cum?” “Mhm.” I nod against his neck. I had which frightened me even more because I didn’t want to but the friction against my body forced me over the edge. “Good girl.” No break, no warning; his hand wormed its way into my pants and underwear and he began to finger me. This is another example of how he refused to respect my boundaries and coerced me, wearing me down until I said yes. He would play games when we were done, logging onto Discord to voice chat with his friends. When he was in the middle of a game, I overheard him say, “how to give a bitch Stockholm Syndrome”. Again, I brushed it off as him being edgy. I realise now how disturbing his mindset had to be to say something like that. I told him I don’t beg for anyone. The next minute, we were undressed and he was rubbing himself against me, instructing me to beg or he wouldn’t put it in. I tried to resist, but he pinned my hands until I gave in. This was terrifying because I had just said I didn’t beg. I didn’t want to beg. I was stuck underneath him until he forced it out of me by rubbing my parts. He slapped me then he would say, “you’re such a desperate slut.” I replied, “only for you.” And then he kissed me. Once he even told me that he was researching psychological warfare, and when I asked what that was, he said, “manipulation tactics.” Which truly highlights his mindset. I thought I might be pregnant and I sent him a text about it, expecting comfort and emotional maturity. What I was met with was a photo of a gun and cleaning supplies. This startled me because I was expecting him to have some maturity but instead he met me with a threat. Before I went to university, I joked about him getting together with an old lady to keep him company since our town is basically a retirement village. He said nah, he’s going to scout the high school for a 17 year old. With all the bad times stacked together like this, it’s easy to see the toxicity. However, it wasn’t all just bad times. He drip-fed me affection to keep me hooked on him, so that every time I tried to leave, he knew I’d come back hoping for the good version of him. We were watching a show when a scene depicting criminals getting shot at when I had a thought of what if one day it’s late at night and I’m at home with our future kids and he’s out somewhere and something bad happens to him but I can’t help him? A tear fell down my cheek and landed on his bare chest. I froze. I knew he felt it but I wasn’t sure how he’d react. He gently kissed the top of my head, changed the channel to ‘channel’—a YouTube channel we always laughed at while we watched. I felt good inside when we had moments like this. That kept me coming back. I knew he could be decent and kind to me but he just chose his own desires over my comfort a lot of the time. We were at his house in his new room and he kept trying to engage in intercourse with me. I told him no, that I just wanted to cuddle and watch TV. He got grumpy at that and told me “if you’re not going to have sex with me, you can leave.” I got up, started grabbing my stuff and he asked where I was going. I said I was leaving and all he said was okay. That response was so dry that I decided to stay. I climbed back onto the bed and he kept asking, “can I touch you?” I kept repeating, “it’s probably dry.” Without warning, he shoved his hand down my pants and started rubbing me, moaning about how wet I was. I didn’t want to lose him. I care about him so much and the thought of just because I didn’t want to do something like sex would lose him was too overwhelming. I didn’t want to lose him and him saying that put a lot of pressure on me to have sex with him. We started having sex because he wanted to and I didn’t want to get kicked out. His bed was too squeaky so we moved to the floor. I asked him to pass me a pillow and he dropped it on my face. Then he came over, stood above me and started waving his dick around over my face and squatting lower. This was horrifying. Why was he squatting over my face? I still have flashbacks about this where I can see everything going on up there. I asked him what he was doing multiple times and he was just grinning without responding. Finally, I crawled out from under him and asked if he was about to take a shit on me. He replied that he was just going to get me to suck him off. I didn’t agree to any of that. This, again, was horrifying. I didn’t want sex that day. I was visibly stalling sex that day by saying we should go to the wall (didn’t work I was too tall) and then the floor and when I ended up on the floor I had one of the worst and most absurd sexual experiences of my life. It wasn’t all bad. We were eating Domino’s BBQ chicken in bed when a drop of sauce fell onto my breast and he pointed it out. “Lick it up.” I grinned. “Ew, that’s gross.” He grimaced. “You weren’t complaining ten minutes ago.” He nodded. “True.” He licked it off. Some time later, he made a joke about getting me BBQ sauce for my birthday. I brought a pair of handcuffs over to his house and he put them on himself and got stuck in them. I had to help him out. Another time I was tickling his feet and he grabbed me and put me in a headlock with his legs and tried to fart on my face. This happened more than once. Christmas came rolling around and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Excited, I told him to surprise me and I went shopping for him, buying a bunch of items I thought he’d like including a music note necklace, a dragon-skin bauble, dice, fidget toys, incense and an incense stand. Of course, his favourite expensive chocolates too. When I gave him his presents, he had nothing for me. I saw a cat statue on his desk and he said it was for his ex-girlfriend. He never got me anything. One time he just stood in the corner, pointing the knife at me and smiling. I told him he was being creepy and he put it away after standing there for a few more seconds. His ex called and he stepped out of the room, coming back to tell me that her dog had humped her leg. He showed me a video on website of a vagina turned into a crack pipe and asked if he could do that to me. I made a deal with him that if he got sex, I had to get at least 10 minutes of cuddles afterwards. Sex usually lasted about an hour. Sometimes when we cuddled he would fully wrap me up in his arms while I laid on his chest. Other times he would throw a lazy hand over my waist. Most times he would get me to spoon him (him as little spoon). Although, one time we were half asleep and I was cuddling him when I rolled over and he rolled over to spoon me and I don’t think I’d ever been happier with him. The third time we used the knife he wasn’t responding to any of my texts so I texted him, “fuck me with a knife against my throat.” He finally responded and told me to come over. I did and he told me to go get the knife while he stepped out of the room. I did and it wasn’t in the spot he kept it. I climbed back on the bed where I was before he left the room and felt a hard object under the pillow. I looked and there was the knife. He slid it under my pillow before he had left. That confused me. Why ask me to go get it? He got two bottles of cold water and brought them in, giving me one and putting a pill in the other right in front of me before shaking the bottle and drinking it. He put the bottle next to mine and I don’t know if they got jumbled up while I wasn’t looking. I asked him for a brush when I was at his house. He got one and tried to brush my hair. He messed with my part so I got the brush and told him he ruined it. Silly moment. He liked choking. Sometimes he would direct my hand to his throat. I asked him once if he’d like to choke me to see how long it would take me to black out. He agreed and his hand was wrapped around my throat for about five to ten minutes before he stopped because his hand started cramping. I was trying to be someone he’d accept. Early in our relationship, he mentioned that he had a stalker before. A girl. I wonder where she is today. Once he wanted to have sex while I was on my period. I didn’t have tampons so we agreed that the next day when I came over I would bring some because I was staying the night. I got to his house but I forgot the tampons and my pajama pants. I called Mum and she brought them down for me. name and I had sex after he put towels down. It was normal I suppose, a bit drier. We showered after. The next time I was on my period he didn’t want to have sex again. I sucked him off and that continued until one day we had period sex again and he got two garbage bags for my tampon. Another time we were at my house and he wanted me to make out with him while he jerked himself off. Usually I swallowed his semen when he was about to finish and he’d let me know. That time he didn’t tell me after I asked him to and instead, cleaned himself up with toilet paper and didn’t give me an explanation. Later into our relationship, I asked if he still saw a future with me like he said he did. He said, “not really anymore.” I asked why. He replied, “you’re not my type.” I asked what his type is. He said, “alternative.” I tried to leave him. A lot. I left his house and said, “see you never.” He replied, “that’s what you said last time.” On my bed, watching the TV that I bought because he made a comment about my lack of one. We were making out and his arms were around me. He trailed a hand up and down my body. He kept asking through kisses, “sex?” I kept saying ‘maybe’ at first and then I said, “can’t we just hang out and not have sex?” He kept asking. I didn’t want to have sex with him, I just wanted to cuddle and watch TV. He replied, “but you make me so horny.” “We have sex all the time, I’m trying to just be friends here.” “But sex would feel so good right now.” He continued to pressure me in subtle ways like that, asking over and over again. We kissed. His hands explored my body. My hands stayed in his hair mostly. He kept grinding himself against me, pushing his boner against my thigh. He rolled over, positioned himself between my legs and asked me to grind with him. I caved. Feeling him against me made me aroused and I gave in. I didn’t want sex in the first place. This hurts to think about because I always gave in after he continued to touch me. I liked kissing him and I tried asking him to keep his hands still but if I moved them to my thigh he’d trail them to my butt and if I moved them to my hips he played with my boobs. I just wanted to watch tv and kiss. But because he was now on top of me and his dick was pressed against my privates, I gave in. We did and afterwards we pulled our clothes off and went back to making out. We had sex. It was lasting a while. name said he was going to finish and then didn’t twice. I suggested that we take a break. He didn’t listen and kept going. “Should we take a break? It’ll be ten minutes, baby, and we can go back to it.” He shook his head. “I’m almost there.” I waited like twenty more minutes for him to finish, watching the tv over his shoulder while he thrusted into me. Luckily, I asked him to move his head and I positioned my deaf ear to face it towards his moans while my good ear was positioned towards the TV. “Have you finished?” I asked. A few times. He shook his head and I asked again. “C’mon, let’s take a break. Ten minutes of watching TV then we’ll go back to it, I promise.” He still didn’t agree, I had to ask a few more times after that. When he reluctantly agreed and climbed off, he laid next to me on the bed. He started stroking himself while I was watching TV and he told me to touch myself. I asked ‘why?’ And he responded, “because it’s hot.” I did it for two minutes and then stopped. He started touching me. I pushed his hand away after a little while. “Do you want head?” He asked. I nodded and he pulled me down to the end of the bed. He was alright but I pulled him back up to get him to fuck me so it would be over with. He positioned himself as we made out back on top of me and we continued having sex. He finished and without bothering to pull out he fell asleep on top of me, taking a nap and drooling all over my hair and cushion. I asked him to come to the town’s show with me. He called it a shit show. When I asked if he’d come to the local event with me, he said that it’s even worse than the show. He wouldn’t go to lunch with me unless I begged and paid for both of us. He refused to meet my parents and he’d sneak in and out of my house, one time even hiding under a blanket when I was saying goodbye to my aunt. He used to drop tissues on my face when he finished, telling me to clean up. When I was on top, I did the same to him. He just smirked and dragged the tissue across his face, making a funny face every time the tissue passed over it. That made me giggle and he told me to keep doing that because it felt good. Mind you, he was still inside me at the time. He never said we were dating, always that we were ‘friends with benefits’ or ‘a situationship’. He swiped right on my sister’s social media handle and pretended it was a joke. He hooked up with my friend while we were seeing each other. We walked down to restaurant once because they forgot his drinks so we walked down. Sometimes he would be getting a tissue or passing me something and he would randomly thrust into me to see me gasp. I called him handsome and he said ‘actually I prefer pretty’. So I started calling him pretty boy. He sniffed his fingers after fingering me and said he was testing the pH levels. He said his ex had BPD. Later said he got diagnosed. When I was on my period he asked if he could touch himself and i said yes then the next time he’d just whip it out without asking. He asked me to sit on his face. I giggled and said no id crush you. He says I wouldn't and stuff I refuse again. He tells me he’s not gonna come around much anymore. We kissed and I asked him if he just wanted a break for a while. He said yeah and I asked him if he was gonna come back. He said maybe. He asked me to sit on his face again. I again refuse. He used to blow vape smoke into my open mouth. I asked him why he kisses me if we’re just friends he said because it’s fun. I told him he was good at making out and he said I was average and I have thin lips. He made these funny noises the first time we had sex and he just came and I started laughing and he’s like you’re the first person to laugh at that. He stopped during the middle of sex to watch his dick go in and out because “it looks like a piston.” We were listening to song and he came over, kissed me and grabbed my arms saying “your arms look like little cigarettes”. I started singing the next part of the song. We laughed. I was high on weed most of the times I went down there. He knew, we brought it up occasionally but he didn’t slow down when it came to sex. He finally left me after I tried to commit suicide, told him I went to the hospital when really I was scared and hid in my room. I told him I lied and he freaked out, sending me a message that said, “my point is whilst you were idealising your own death I was stressed like a mf and everytime you declined my help it didn't make me feel really all that good, then you lied to me about getting help you made me feel like shit.” I wouldn’t stop messaging him, trying to get him back and understand why he treated me the way he did. He got an AVO and is actively using it against me. I can’t talk to him to ask him to explain this even though I want to. I tried to contact him before and he reported it. I just need to understand what happened because this is really overwhelming me on a daily basis. Random Story [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/story/coercive-control-1958#comments) - Report ### Discard message? You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it? Cancel Discard ##### Similar community content Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. 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Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay [\[Image: United States\]United States](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=pa)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/coercive-control-1958?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/coercive-control-1958)[Español](/es/story/coercive-control-1958)[日本語](/ja/story/coercive-control-1958) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? Take a deep breath to end. Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud. Take a deep breath to end. Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment. Take a deep breath to end. Try another grounding activity I feel grounded and ready