--- title: Childhood sexual play, and trauma from guilt ~ Our Wave Community description: When I was eight or nine years old and older girl showed me while humping a girl a year older than me the year older than me girl used to take me down to the... url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? 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Send it to us 🇺🇸 ##### Survivor story # Childhood sexual play, and trauma from guilt Original story ##### Message to a Survivor I pray for everyone that has ever had any trauma, especially during childhood. ##### Message of Healing Healing means to stop thinking about the childhood sexual play and to stop worrying if I hurt someone When I was eight or nine years old and older girl showed me while humping a girl a year older than me the year older than me girl used to take me down to the basement and help me. We would pull down our pants though so it was not dry humping a year or so later I showed a girl my same age and asked her if she wanted to do the hump she said yes a couple times and eventually said no and that was it however, I worried that I could’ve made someone gay or by sexual and I Was never able to think about it without getting very depressed and I didn’t tell anyone for years. It has been many years since and I had a family situation that caused me to be depressed, and it all came back to me. The shame the guilt the depression. I contacted the girl about 20 years ago and she said I had not harmed her and I kept asking her and finally she said you’ve given this a lot of thought maybe I should give it some thought too. Maybe I can get something out of it and I was shocked that she hadn’t given it any thought because I was worried during Puberty Maybe something would happen and it was my fault. I am a person that always blames myself anyway, I am going to therapy now twice a week online and trying to deal with my emotions regarding this. I know I was a normal child and I read that childhood sexual play and experimenting or learning about your self is common, but it just felt bad to me. I would appreciate any comments or feedback. 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Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: United States\]United States [\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=nz)[\[Image: Panama\]Panama](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=pa)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910?country=ve) English [English](/en/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910)[Español](/es/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910)[日本語](/ja/story/childhood-sexual-play-and-trauma-from-guilt-1910) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. 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