--- title: How to support survivors and be an ally: Expert Answers ~ Our Wave description: How to support survivors and be an ally: 28 survivor questions answered by trauma-informed experts in the Our Wave community. url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally.md --- {{customAnalyticsScripts}} [\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]\[Image: Our Wave Logo\]](/en/) [ Community ](/en/)[ Questions & Answers ](/en/learn)[ Find Support ](/en/resources) Share story Post a message 0 Users 0 Views 0 Reactions 0 Stories read ##### Need to take a break? Try a grounding activity For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Show resources for \[Image: Panama\]Panama [\[Image: United States\]United States](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ec)[\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=sv)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=mx)[\[Image: Nicaragua\]Nicaragua](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ni)[\[Image: New Zealand\]New Zealand](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=nz)[\[Image: Paraguay\]Paraguay](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=pr)[\[Image: Spain\]Spain](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=es)[\[Image: United Kingdom\]United Kingdom](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=gb)[\[Image: Uruguay\]Uruguay](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=uy)[\[Image: Venezuela\]Venezuela](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally?country=ve) English [English](/en/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally)[Español](/es/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally)[日本語](/ja/learn/topics/how-to-support-survivors-and-be-an-ally) [ About Us ](https://www.ourwave.org/en/who-we-are) Made with in Raleigh, NC Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) Have feedback? Send it to us # How to support survivors and be an ally Ask a question Questions from friends, partners and family about how to listen, what to say, and how to support someone who has been through trauma. 28 questions from survivors on this topic, each answered by a trauma-informed expert. [ #### Why might survivors of gender-based violence may feel hesitant to report the human rights violation? 🇿🇦 Thank you for your question. If you have not experienced any form of gender-based harm, it might be hard to imagine why survivors who go through these horrific experiences do not always report them. Unfortunately, due to the characteristics of one's sexual harm experience, the lack of protection for survivors, and historical injustices within the criminal-legal system, gender-based violence is the most underreported crime. For example, it is estimated that 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and only 12% of child sexual abu... ](/en/answer/why-might-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-may-feel-hesitant-to-report-the-human-rights-violation-33) 2 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 2 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/why-might-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-may-feel-hesitant-to-report-the-human-rights-violation-33#comments) [ #### My girlfriend told me that before she was with me, she was sexually assaulted. How can I help her? 🇺🇸 Thank you so much for this question. We really appreciate you reaching out to find out how to best support the healing of your girlfriend. When your girlfriend shared her experience of sexual assault with you, she placed a great deal of trust in you. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding. ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-told-me-that-before-she-was-with-me-she-was-sexually-assaulted-how-can-i-help-her-115) 2 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-told-me-that-before-she-was-with-me-she-was-sexually-assaulted-how-can-i-help-her-115#comments) [ #### How can someone become an effective advocate against sexual violence? 🇺🇸 Thank you for this question and for wanting to strengthen your advocacy for survivors of sexual harm. Becoming an effective advocate against sexual violence is a meaningful way to support survivors and contribute to positive change in society. Here are some ways you can start... ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-become-an-effective-advocate-against-sexual-violence-192) 3 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-become-an-effective-advocate-against-sexual-violence-192#comments) [ #### Why did everyone believe him (the person who harmed me) and not me, even my best friend who had just met him? 🇺🇸 Thank you for asking this question to us. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Being disbelieved is one of the most painful experiences a survivor can face, and when it comes from people you trusted (especially your best friend) that betrayal cuts incredibly deep. What you're describing is unfortunately common, and I want you to know that the fact people believed him says nothing about the truth of what happened to you. It says everything about how our society has been conditioned to respond to disclosures of sexual violence. ](/en/answer/why-did-everyone-believe-him-the-person-who-harmed-me-and-not-me-even-my-best-friend-who-had-just-met-him-838) 3 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 1 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/why-did-everyone-believe-him-the-person-who-harmed-me-and-not-me-even-my-best-friend-who-had-just-met-him-838#comments) [ #### What are ways families can encourage their loved ones to report gender-based violence? 🇺🇸 Thank you for asking this question. The first thing we want to emphasize is that whether or not your loved one chooses to report their gender-based violence experience is ultimately up to them. It is essential to respect their autonomy, recognizing that forcing them to report may enhance their distress. Supporting survivors in their decision-making, providing non-coercive assistance, and fostering environments of trust and empowerment are vital to ensure you continue to be a supportive healing presence that they know they can turn to goi... ](/en/answer/what-are-ways-families-can-encourage-their-loved-ones-to-report-gender-based-violence-85) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-are-ways-families-can-encourage-their-loved-ones-to-report-gender-based-violence-85#comments) [ #### Describe immediate supports that should be given to a victim that has just been violated. 🇺🇸 Thank you so much for this question. When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond and support them appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. ](/en/answer/describe-immediate-supports-that-should-be-given-to-a-victim-that-has-just-been-violated-32) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/describe-immediate-supports-that-should-be-given-to-a-victim-that-has-just-been-violated-32#comments) [ #### What should I do if someone tells me they have been sexually assaulted? 🇺🇸 When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. First, listen. Rather than starting with doubt, start by believing. Allow the survivor to lead the conversation. Match the terminology of the survivor and do not label their experience for them. Avoid asking questions and let the survivor know you are glad that they told you. It is important to recognize that silence is... ](/en/answer/what-should-i-do-if-someone-tells-me-they-have-been-sexually-assaulted-3) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-should-i-do-if-someone-tells-me-they-have-been-sexually-assaulted-3#comments) [ #### How can responsible citizens effectively support survivors of gender-based violence in their communities? 🇿🇦 Supporting survivors of gender-based violence requires both individual awareness and collective action rooted in respect for survivor autonomy and safety. One of the most impactful strategies is becoming an informed bystander who can recognize warning signs and respond appropriately when situations arise. This means learning about the dynamics of abuse, understanding that leaving an abusive situation is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and knowing how to offer support without judgment or pressure. When someone discloses their expe... ](/en/answer/how-can-responsible-citizens-effectively-support-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-in-their-communities-675) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-responsible-citizens-effectively-support-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-in-their-communities-675#comments) [ #### What are two core strategies that responsible citizens may use to help victims of gender- based violence? 🇿🇦 Everyone can play a crucial role in supporting victims and survivors of gender-based violence. While there are many things you can do, here are two specific strategies. The first strategy is to believe and validate survivors when they share their experiences. This involves listening without judgment, avoiding questions that might imply doubt, and explicitly stating belief in their story. Simple phrases like "I believe you" and "It's not your fault" can be incredibly powerful and help counteract the self-doubt and shame that many survivors stru... ](/en/answer/what-are-two-core-strategies-that-responsible-citizens-may-use-to-help-victims-of-gender-based-violence-177 "Everyone can play a crucial role in supporting victims and survivors of gender-based violence. While there are many things you can do, here are two specific strategies. The first strategy is to believe and validate survivors when they share their experiences. This involves listening without judgment, avoiding questions that might imply doubt, and explicitly stating belief in their story. Simple phrases like \"I believe you\" and \"It's not your fault\" can be incredibly powerful and help counteract the self-doubt and shame that many survivors stru...") 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-are-two-core-strategies-that-responsible-citizens-may-use-to-help-victims-of-gender-based-violence-177#comments) [NO MORE Silence, Speak Your Truth Community](https://stories.nomore.org) [ #### Should I tell my mom about her boyfriend assaulting my best friend if she didn't believe me when I told her about him assaulting me? 🇺🇸 Thank you for being here. What you are carrying right now is a lot. You told your mom something true and painful about yourself and she did not believe you. Now you have information that directly affects someone you care about and you are trying to figure out whether it is even worth trying again. That is not a simple position to be in. ](/en/answer/should-i-tell-my-mom-about-her-boyfriend-assaulting-my-best-friend-if-she-didnt-believe-me-when-i-told-her-about-him-assaulting-me-903) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/should-i-tell-my-mom-about-her-boyfriend-assaulting-my-best-friend-if-she-didnt-believe-me-when-i-told-her-about-him-assaulting-me-903#comments) [ #### How can I support victims of human trafficking? 🇿🇦 Simply put, human trafficking is compelled service. It occurs when a person is compelled into service for profit. Labor trafficking and sex trafficking are the two most commonly seen forms of human trafficking in the United states. Labor trafficking can occur in almost any industry; including begging, domestic servitude, industrial fishing, agriculture, construction, hospitality, landscaping, and health & beauty. Sex trafficking can occur in a variety of venues, such as massage parlors, truck stops, brothels, strip clubs, hotels/motel... ](/en/answer/how-can-i-support-victims-of-human-trafficking-27) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-i-support-victims-of-human-trafficking-27#comments) [ #### When my boyfriend was 12, he briefly touched his younger cousin's private area over their clothes for a few seconds. When his cousin asked him to move his hand, he immediately stopped and nothing happened again. He describes this as childhood curiosity from when he was going through puberty. I'm trying to understand whether this falls under typical childhood sexual exploration or if it's something more serious. Is this a common experience? He has OCD and I'm wondering if I should be concerned about this. 🇺🇸 We appreciate you reaching out with this question and understand how confusing it can be to navigate this kind of disclosure from someone you care about. It's completely natural to want to understand what happened and what it means, both for your boyfriend's younger cousin and for your relationship. ](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 7 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened#comments) [ #### My partner confessed that he sexually abused his younger sister (2 yrs younger) from when he was 13-15. He would make her touch him, ejaculate, and he would touch her breasts. I feel very disgusted and struggle to feel empathetic. He was sexually abused by his cousin when he was 4. I’m having a hard time seeing him as a troubled human even though he feels so much shame and guilt about it. I don’t know how to support him or if I should continue in this relationship 🇨🇦 Thank you for trusting us with something this heavy. What you are carrying right now is an enormous amount to hold. The fact that you are trying to think through this carefully rather than simply reacting says a lot about who you are. To repeat what you already stated, what your partner did to his sister was abuse. He was older, he had more power in that relationship, and what he caused her to do and what he did to her body were serious violations. Naming that clearly is not the same as condemning him as a person beyond all understanding. It j... ](/en/answer/my-partner-confessed-that-he-sexually-abused-his-younger-sister-2-yrs-younger-from-when-he-was-13-15-he-would-make-her-touch-him-ejaculate-and-he-would-touch-her-breasts-i-feel-very-disgusted-and-stru-958) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 3 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-partner-confessed-that-he-sexually-abused-his-younger-sister-2-yrs-younger-from-when-he-was-13-15-he-would-make-her-touch-him-ejaculate-and-he-would-touch-her-breasts-i-feel-very-disgusted-and-stru-958#comments) [ #### Describe how would you help a gender-based violence (GBV) victim. 🇺🇸 Gender-based violence (GBV) is a global health concern and human rights issue. GBV is violence against an individual based on the individual's literal or recognized sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation. GBV is influenced by societal expectations and gendered power dynamics and can encompass such acts as intimate partner violence, sexual violence, child abuse, and stalking. GBV can take many forms, including physical, emotional, economic, and sexual abuse. ](/en/answer/describe-how-would-you-help-a-gender-based-violence-gbv-victim-35) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/describe-how-would-you-help-a-gender-based-violence-gbv-victim-35#comments) [ #### What can I do to help end sexual violence? 🇺🇸 One way to end something is to try to stop it before it even begins. Showing up for people you know and people you don't know when you feel a situation is unsafe could look like interrupting the situation by creating a distraction, notifying an authority or trusted professional, or asking the person in concern directly if they feel safe. ](/en/answer/what-can-i-do-to-help-end-sexual-violence-5) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-can-i-do-to-help-end-sexual-violence-5#comments) [ #### This week I found graphic images of my sons, ages 12 and 14, on an old flip phone in their room. It didn't seem to be connected to service. I was shocked and horrified. My kids were upset but seemed to want to downplay what happened. I called the police and handed over the phone, and they are now investigating. Next week we have a forensic interview scheduled, and my kids won't talk to me about any of it. I've been avoiding my extended family, which is hard because we're normally close. How do I handle the waiting, without more information, and how do I get through this without everyone finding out? 🇺🇸 What a horrible and nightmarish situation thank you so much for trusting us with this. What you're carrying right now, the not knowing alongside the fear of it becoming public, is one of the heaviest combinations a parent can hold. You did the hard, right thing by calling the police and handing over that phone instead of trying to investigate it yourself. That is worth showing yourself some gratitude for. ](/en/answer/this-week-i-found-some-graphic-pictures-of-my-kids-on-a-phone-in-their-room-it-was-an-old-flip-phone-and-didnt-seem-to-be-connected-to-service-it-was-shocking-and-horrifying-for-me-the-kids-were-upset-936) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/this-week-i-found-some-graphic-pictures-of-my-kids-on-a-phone-in-their-room-it-was-an-old-flip-phone-and-didnt-seem-to-be-connected-to-service-it-was-shocking-and-horrifying-for-me-the-kids-were-upset-936#comments) [ #### A gender-based violence survivor is being harassed by an ex-partner and fears for their life. What protection measures can you help them access? 🇧🇼 Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence, immediate action is crucial. For immediate danger situations, your safety must come first. If you believe you're in immediate danger, call emergency services (911 in the US) without hesitation. Many people worry about "overreacting," but when it comes to your safety, it's better to err on the side of caution. ](/en/answer/a-gender-based-violence-survivor-is-being-harassed-by-an-ex-partner-and-fears-for-their-life-what-protection-measures-can-you-help-them-access-460 "Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence, immediate action is crucial.  For immediate danger situations, your safety must come first. If you believe you're in immediate danger, call emergency services (911 in the US) without hesitation. Many people worry about \"overreacting,\" but when it comes to your safety, it's better to err on the side of caution.") 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/a-gender-based-violence-survivor-is-being-harassed-by-an-ex-partner-and-fears-for-their-life-what-protection-measures-can-you-help-them-access-460#comments) [ #### How can someone who has been groomed online break the cycle of seeking out abusive relationships, and what can friends or loved ones do to support them? 🇰🇼 Online grooming is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on the mental health and well-being of people who experience it. It is not uncommon for those who have experienced grooming to find themselves in a pattern of seeking out similar abusive relationships. This behavior can be attributed to a variety of factors, including low self-esteem, a distorted perception of what constitutes a healthy relationship, and unresolved trauma. ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-who-has-been-groomed-online-break-the-cycle-of-seeking-out-abusive-relationships-and-what-can-friends-or-loved-ones-do-to-support-them-139) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-who-has-been-groomed-online-break-the-cycle-of-seeking-out-abusive-relationships-and-what-can-friends-or-loved-ones-do-to-support-them-139#comments) [ #### My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, about 9 hours apart. She recently told me she was almost a victim of human trafficking. According to her, she and her friend were drugged and found by police before they could be transported. She woke up in a hospital where she was tested for STDs (all negative), but tragically, she told me her friend didn't survive. This isn't her first trauma - she was also molested when she was 8 years old. Learning about this recent incident has deeply affected me. While she tells me not to worry and that she's okay, I'm struggling to cope. I still love her, but I feel different. Being so far away when this happened makes it worse - I wish I could be there for her, though I'm not sure how much help I could be. I'm feeling lost and empty, and I need advice on how to handle this situation and my emotions. 🇿🇦 Wow. What a terrible situation. I am so sorry this happened. I hear how deeply affected you are by this and I want to acknowledge how overwhelming it must feel to process this news while being physically distant from her. It's completely normal to feel lost, empty, and changed by learning about a loved one's traumatic experience. Your struggle with these feelings shows how much you care about her. While she might say she's "okay" and that you shouldn't stress, it's natural for you to be concerned. Trauma affects not only the survivor but also... ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-and-i-are-in-a-long-distance-relationship-about-9-hours-apart-she-recently-told-me-she-was-almost-a-victim-of-human-trafficking-according-to-her-she-and-her-friend-were-drugged-and-found-by-police-before-they-could-be-transported-she-woke-up-in-a-hospital-where-she-was-tested-for-stds-all-negative-but-tragically-she-told-me-her-friend-didnt-survive-this-isnt-her-first-trauma-she-was-also-molested-when-she-was-8-years-old-learning-about-this-recent-incident-has-deeply-affected-me-while-she-tells-me-not-to-worry-and-that-shes-okay-im-struggling-to-cope-i-still-love-her-but-i-feel-different-being-so-far-away-when-this-happened-makes-it-worse-i-wish-i-could-be-there-for-her-though-im-not-sure-how-much-help-i-could-be-im-feeling-lost-and-empty-and-i-need-advice-on-how-to-handle-this-situation-and-my-emotions-348) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 1 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-and-i-are-in-a-long-distance-relationship-about-9-hours-apart-she-recently-told-me-she-was-almost-a-victim-of-human-trafficking-according-to-her-she-and-her-friend-were-drugged-and-found-by-police-before-they-could-be-transported-she-woke-up-in-a-hospital-where-she-was-tested-for-stds-all-negative-but-tragically-she-told-me-her-friend-didnt-survive-this-isnt-her-first-trauma-she-was-also-molested-when-she-was-8-years-old-learning-about-this-recent-incident-has-deeply-affected-me-while-she-tells-me-not-to-worry-and-that-shes-okay-im-struggling-to-cope-i-still-love-her-but-i-feel-different-being-so-far-away-when-this-happened-makes-it-worse-i-wish-i-could-be-there-for-her-though-im-not-sure-how-much-help-i-could-be-im-feeling-lost-and-empty-and-i-need-advice-on-how-to-handle-this-situation-and-my-emotions-348#comments) [ #### I know someone who is physically abused by her husband, but she won't ask for help or file a complaint. She is scared because she has 2 small children and is also not independent financially. How can I help her? 🇮🇳 Thank you for asking this question. It can be extremely challenging to witness someone in your life struggling with intimate partner or domestic violence, particularly if they have financial or family constraints that makes leaving the situation challenging. While it is important to respect their choice to stay, there are many things you can do to support them. ](/en/answer/i-know-someone-who-is-physically-abused-by-her-husband-but-she-wont-ask-for-help-or-file-a-complaint-she-is-scared-because-she-has-2-small-children-and-is-also-not-independent-financially-how-can-i-help-her-43) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/i-know-someone-who-is-physically-abused-by-her-husband-but-she-wont-ask-for-help-or-file-a-complaint-she-is-scared-because-she-has-2-small-children-and-is-also-not-independent-financially-how-can-i-help-her-43#comments) [ #### My sister-in-law recently disclosed that when she was about 5 years old, her brother (my brother-in-law), who was around 7 or 8 at the time, pressured her to perform oral on him. The family is divided on how to interpret this situation. My sister-in-law acknowledges this as a source of trauma for her, but doesn't accuse her brother of being a predator. Given their young ages at the time and likely lack of understanding about consent and appropriate behavior, how should this situation be viewed? Is it possible for a harmful incident to occur between children without labeling the initiator as a predator? Could this have been a result of lack of education or possibly learned behavior? How can the family address this sensitively while supporting both individuals involved? 🇺🇸 Thank you for sharing this complex and sensitive family situation. Your concern for both your sister-in-law and brother-in-law, as well as your desire to understand the nuances of this difficult topic, is commendable. First and foremost, it's crucial to validate your sister-in-law's experience and the trauma she's carrying. Her disclosure took immense courage, and it's important that she feels heard and supported. I want to emphasize that your sister-in-law has the absolute right to label and describe her experience in whatever way feels most... ](/en/answer/my-sister-in-law-recently-disclosed-that-when-she-was-about-5-years-old-her-brother-my-brother-in-law-who-was-around-7-or-8-at-the-time-pressured-her-to-perform-oral-on-him-the-family-is-divided-on-how-to-interpret-this-situation-my-sister-in-law-acknowledges-this-as-a-source-of-trauma-for-her-but-doesnt-accuse-her-brother-of-being-a-predator-given-their-young-ages-at-the-time-and-likely-lack-of-understanding-about-consent-and-appropriate-behavior-how-should-this-situation-be-viewed-is-it-possible-for-a-harmful-incident-to-occur-between-children-without-labeling-the-initiator-as-a-predator-could-this-have-been-a-result-of-lack-of-education-or-possibly-learned-behavior-how-can-the-family-address-this-sensitively-while-supporting-both-individuals-involved-298) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-sister-in-law-recently-disclosed-that-when-she-was-about-5-years-old-her-brother-my-brother-in-law-who-was-around-7-or-8-at-the-time-pressured-her-to-perform-oral-on-him-the-family-is-divided-on-how-to-interpret-this-situation-my-sister-in-law-acknowledges-this-as-a-source-of-trauma-for-her-but-doesnt-accuse-her-brother-of-being-a-predator-given-their-young-ages-at-the-time-and-likely-lack-of-understanding-about-consent-and-appropriate-behavior-how-should-this-situation-be-viewed-is-it-possible-for-a-harmful-incident-to-occur-between-children-without-labeling-the-initiator-as-a-predator-could-this-have-been-a-result-of-lack-of-education-or-possibly-learned-behavior-how-can-the-family-address-this-sensitively-while-supporting-both-individuals-involved-298#comments) [ #### My friend's mom found a group chat on her phone with inappropriate sexual conversations (my friend wasn't participating, just in the chat because of other friends). Her mom got angry and reached toward my friend's private areas while yelling "do you want boys to touch there?!" My friend backed away, scared. She told me she's sure her mom would have touched her if she hadn't moved away. Is this sexual assault? 🇯🇴 I'm really sorry to hear about what your friend went through. It can be incredibly upsetting and confusing when a parent crosses a boundary like that, and what happened to your friend was absolutely inappropriate and concerning behavior. Many parents do have intense reactions when they discover their children have been exposed to sexual content or conversations, often stemming from fear, protective instincts, or their own discomfort with sexuality topics. Parents may panic and react poorly when they feel their child's safety or innocence is at... ](/en/answer/my-friends-mom-found-a-group-chat-on-her-phone-with-inappropriate-sexual-conversations-my-friend-wasnt-participating-just-in-the-chat-because-of-other-friends-her-mom-got-angry-and-reached-toward-my-f) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-friends-mom-found-a-group-chat-on-her-phone-with-inappropriate-sexual-conversations-my-friend-wasnt-participating-just-in-the-chat-because-of-other-friends-her-mom-got-angry-and-reached-toward-my-f#comments) [ #### How can I best support my friend who was sexually assaulted on our college campus? It's especially concerning because the person who committed the assault appears to be a repeat offender. This person wants to become a doctor, and it's scary to think they might not be held accountable for their actions, similar to recent cases in the medical field. I'm devastated for my friend and don't know how to help. 🇺🇸 Thank you for reaching out with such an important question. Your concern for your friend shows what a compassionate and thoughtful person you are. They are fortunate to have someone like you in their life. Supporting a friend who has experienced sexual assault requires compassion, patience, and understanding. First and foremost, believe your friend unconditionally. This validation is crucial, as survivors often face doubt or minimization of their experiences from others. Let your friend know you're there for them without judgment or pressure,... ](/en/answer/how-can-i-best-support-my-friend-who-was-sexually-assaulted-on-our-college-campus-its-especially-concerning-because-the-person-who-committed-the-assault-appears-to-be-a-repeat-offender-this-person-wan) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-i-best-support-my-friend-who-was-sexually-assaulted-on-our-college-campus-its-especially-concerning-because-the-person-who-committed-the-assault-appears-to-be-a-repeat-offender-this-person-wan#comments) [ #### My partner (21F) recently shared that her uncle sexually assaulted her multiple times when she was 12-13. No one in her family knows, and her uncle still lives in her family home where she visits during holidays. I'm seeking advice on two things: how to support her mental health and be aware of trauma responses, and guidance on potential legal actions we could take. This would be a huge help for both of us. 🇵🇭 Thank you for reaching out with such care and concern for your partner. Learning that someone you love has experienced sexual trauma, especially during childhood and by a family member, can feel overwhelming. Your desire to support both her healing and potential pursuit of justice shows deep commitment. ](/en/answer/my-partner-21f-recently-shared-that-her-uncle-sexually-assaulted-her-multiple-times-when-she-was-12-13-no-one-in-her-family-knows-and-her-uncle-still-lives-in-her-family-home-where-she-visits-during-holidays-im-seeking-advice-on-two-things-how-to-support-her-mental-health-and-be-aware-of-trauma-responses-and-guidance-on-potential-legal-actions-we-could-take-this-would-be-a-huge-help-for-both-of-us-401) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-partner-21f-recently-shared-that-her-uncle-sexually-assaulted-her-multiple-times-when-she-was-12-13-no-one-in-her-family-knows-and-her-uncle-still-lives-in-her-family-home-where-she-visits-during-holidays-im-seeking-advice-on-two-things-how-to-support-her-mental-health-and-be-aware-of-trauma-responses-and-guidance-on-potential-legal-actions-we-could-take-this-would-be-a-huge-help-for-both-of-us-401#comments) [ #### Mi hija fue violada por su terapista, quedo embarazada. Soy su Madre como puedo sanar su dolor. El agresor sigue amenazandola. Comparten custodia de mi nieto. My daughter was raped by her therapist and became pregnant. I am her Mother, how can I heal her pain? The aggressor continues to threaten her and they share custody of my grandson. 🇲🇽 Muchas gracias por esta pregunta. Lamento profundamente el dolor que está atravesando su familia. La situación que ha soportado su hija es verdaderamente horrible e inimaginable. Como su madre, su función principal es brindarle amor incondicional, creerle y apoyarla. Valídela haciéndole saber que lo que le sucedió no fue en absoluto su culpa. La total responsabilidad recae en el terapeuta que explotó su posición de poder y abusó de la confianza depositada en él de la manera... ](/en/answer/mi-hija-fue-violada-por-su-terapista-quedo-embarazada-soy-su-madre-como-puedo-sanar-su-dolor-el-agresor-sigue-amenazandola-comparten-custodia-de-mi-nieto-my-daughter-was-raped-by-her-therapist-and-became-pregnant-i-am-her-mother-how-can-i-heal-her-pain-the-aggressor-continues-to-threaten-her-and-they-share-custody-of-my-grandson-110) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/mi-hija-fue-violada-por-su-terapista-quedo-embarazada-soy-su-madre-como-puedo-sanar-su-dolor-el-agresor-sigue-amenazandola-comparten-custodia-de-mi-nieto-my-daughter-was-raped-by-her-therapist-and-became-pregnant-i-am-her-mother-how-can-i-heal-her-pain-the-aggressor-continues-to-threaten-her-and-they-share-custody-of-my-grandson-110#comments) [NO MORE Silence, Speak Your Truth Community](https://stories.nomore.org) [ #### My 24-year-old sister physically abuses my 50-year-old mother, and this has been happening for 3-4 years. My 53-year-old father also abuses my mother. She is beaten constantly with various objects like belts and utensils, and she bleeds from the wounds. I feel helpless watching this happen. My mother doesn't want to report it because she says it would make things complicated due to societal expectations in Indian culture, my father being the primary income earner, and my sister's upcoming marriage. What can I do to help her? 🇮🇳 I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It must be incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching to witness your mother being hurt by both your sister and father. What you're experiencing is deeply traumatic, and your feelings of helplessness are completely understandable, especially when cultural and societal pressures make taking action seem complicated. Your concern for your mother's safety shows tremendous love and strength, and how much you care for her. ](/en/answer/my-24-year-old-sister-physically-abuses-my-50-year-old-mother-and-this-has-been-happening-for-3-4-years-my-53-year-old-father-also-abuses-my-mother-she-is-beaten-constantly-with-various-objects-like-b) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-24-year-old-sister-physically-abuses-my-50-year-old-mother-and-this-has-been-happening-for-3-4-years-my-53-year-old-father-also-abuses-my-mother-she-is-beaten-constantly-with-various-objects-like-b#comments) [ #### My 18-year-old girlfriend was sexually abused when she was 5 years old by her 14-year-old cousin. She remembers being taken to a separate room, and describes vaginal penetration. It happened once. She told her parents when she was 12. She had a suicide attempt in high school that she didn't follow through on. Right now, she seems to be doing well. She has healthy relationships, no issues with intimacy, and says the experience hasn't really affected her life. She sometimes has painful memories but nothing that stops her from functioning. As her partner, I want to understand what she went through. I feel like her body somehow "belongs" to her abuser because he was her first sexual encounter. I have questions about the physical severity of what happened, whether she can really be okay despite how serious the abuse was, and whether what she experienced has left any lasting physical differences. 🇲🇽 Thank you so much for reaching out. The fact that you are asking these questions tells me you love her and want to understand. That is a good thing. Before I move through everything you asked, I want to speak directly to something you said, because it runs through all of it. ](/en/answer/my-18-year-old-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-when-she-was-5-by-her-cousin-who-was-about-14-she-remembers-little-but-says-she-was-with-some-cousins-and-her-brother-when-her-14-year-old-cousin-took-her-928 "My 18-year-old girlfriend was sexually abused when she was 5 years old by her 14-year-old cousin. She remembers being taken to a separate room, and describes vaginal penetration. It happened once. She told her parents when she was 12. She had a suicide attempt in high school that she didn't follow through on. Right now, she seems to be doing well. She has healthy relationships, no issues with intimacy, and says the experience hasn't really affected her life. She sometimes has painful memories but nothing that stops her from functioning. As her partner, I want to understand what she went through. I feel like her body somehow \"belongs\" to her abuser because he was her first sexual encounter. I have questions about the physical severity of what happened, whether she can really be okay despite how serious the abuse was, and whether what she experienced has left any lasting physical differences.") 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 2 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-18-year-old-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-when-she-was-5-by-her-cousin-who-was-about-14-she-remembers-little-but-says-she-was-with-some-cousins-and-her-brother-when-her-14-year-old-cousin-took-her-928#comments) [ #### My mom was sexually abused by a cousin for five years as a small child, and then raped by a stranger when she was a young teenager. This was the 1960s, so nothing was ever talked about and she never received any kind of counseling. She told me what happened when I was 12, and I have never stopped thinking about it. I'm 50 now and she's nearly 70. She has never processed the early abuse. She keeps the house spotless, puts on a good face, and is even still friendly with her abuser, acting like it's all behind her, but I can feel how much it's still vibrating underneath everything she does. I was never abused myself, my mom made sure of that, but a friend once pointed out that I still absorbed her fear and avoidance just from being raised by her, and that tracks with a lot of the behaviors I recognize in myself. Now my 18 year old daughter has experienced her own sexual trauma, and I feel like this pattern of fear has carried through three generations of women in my family. A few months ago my mom finally admitted she never dealt with her trauma and has been thinking about getting help, but she hasn't taken any steps. How do my daughter and I identify and break the cycle we inherited from her? And how do I encourage my mom without pressuring her? 🇺🇸 Thank you for trusting us with this. You're not imagining that thread running through three generations. It's real and you've clearly been paying attention to it for a long time. Trauma that never gets processed doesn't just sit quietly somewhere. It reorganizes a person from the inside, changes how they hold their body, how they relate to people, how their nervous system reads danger years after the actual danger is gone. Your mom's scrubbing, her composure, her staying friendly with the person who hurt her, all of that is survival. It's a st... ](/en/answer/my-mom-was-sexually-abused-by-a-cousin-for-5-years-when-she-was-a-very-small-child-and-then-was-raped-by-a-stranger-as-a-very-young-teenager-my-grandparents-did-the-best-they-knew-how-to-get-her-to-sa-939) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-mom-was-sexually-abused-by-a-cousin-for-5-years-when-she-was-a-very-small-child-and-then-was-raped-by-a-stranger-as-a-very-young-teenager-my-grandparents-did-the-best-they-knew-how-to-get-her-to-sa-939#comments) [ #### Why might survivors of gender-based violence may feel hesitant to report the human rights violation? 🇿🇦 Thank you for your question. If you have not experienced any form of gender-based harm, it might be hard to imagine why survivors who go through these horrific experiences do not always report them. Unfortunately, due to the characteristics of one's sexual harm experience, the lack of protection for survivors, and historical injustices within the criminal-legal system, gender-based violence is the most underreported crime. For example, it is estimated that 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and only 12% of child sexual abu... ](/en/answer/why-might-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-may-feel-hesitant-to-report-the-human-rights-violation-33) 2 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 2 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/why-might-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-may-feel-hesitant-to-report-the-human-rights-violation-33#comments) [ #### Why did everyone believe him (the person who harmed me) and not me, even my best friend who had just met him? 🇺🇸 Thank you for asking this question to us. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Being disbelieved is one of the most painful experiences a survivor can face, and when it comes from people you trusted (especially your best friend) that betrayal cuts incredibly deep. What you're describing is unfortunately common, and I want you to know that the fact people believed him says nothing about the truth of what happened to you. It says everything about how our society has been conditioned to respond to disclosures of sexual violence. ](/en/answer/why-did-everyone-believe-him-the-person-who-harmed-me-and-not-me-even-my-best-friend-who-had-just-met-him-838) 3 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 1 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/why-did-everyone-believe-him-the-person-who-harmed-me-and-not-me-even-my-best-friend-who-had-just-met-him-838#comments) [ #### What should I do if someone tells me they have been sexually assaulted? 🇺🇸 When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. First, listen. Rather than starting with doubt, start by believing. Allow the survivor to lead the conversation. Match the terminology of the survivor and do not label their experience for them. Avoid asking questions and let the survivor know you are glad that they told you. It is important to recognize that silence is... ](/en/answer/what-should-i-do-if-someone-tells-me-they-have-been-sexually-assaulted-3) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-should-i-do-if-someone-tells-me-they-have-been-sexually-assaulted-3#comments) [NO MORE Silence, Speak Your Truth Community](https://stories.nomore.org) [ #### Should I tell my mom about her boyfriend assaulting my best friend if she didn't believe me when I told her about him assaulting me? 🇺🇸 Thank you for being here. What you are carrying right now is a lot. You told your mom something true and painful about yourself and she did not believe you. Now you have information that directly affects someone you care about and you are trying to figure out whether it is even worth trying again. That is not a simple position to be in. ](/en/answer/should-i-tell-my-mom-about-her-boyfriend-assaulting-my-best-friend-if-she-didnt-believe-me-when-i-told-her-about-him-assaulting-me-903) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/should-i-tell-my-mom-about-her-boyfriend-assaulting-my-best-friend-if-she-didnt-believe-me-when-i-told-her-about-him-assaulting-me-903#comments) [ #### My partner confessed that he sexually abused his younger sister (2 yrs younger) from when he was 13-15. He would make her touch him, ejaculate, and he would touch her breasts. I feel very disgusted and struggle to feel empathetic. He was sexually abused by his cousin when he was 4. I’m having a hard time seeing him as a troubled human even though he feels so much shame and guilt about it. I don’t know how to support him or if I should continue in this relationship 🇨🇦 Thank you for trusting us with something this heavy. What you are carrying right now is an enormous amount to hold. The fact that you are trying to think through this carefully rather than simply reacting says a lot about who you are. To repeat what you already stated, what your partner did to his sister was abuse. He was older, he had more power in that relationship, and what he caused her to do and what he did to her body were serious violations. Naming that clearly is not the same as condemning him as a person beyond all understanding. It j... ](/en/answer/my-partner-confessed-that-he-sexually-abused-his-younger-sister-2-yrs-younger-from-when-he-was-13-15-he-would-make-her-touch-him-ejaculate-and-he-would-touch-her-breasts-i-feel-very-disgusted-and-stru-958) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 3 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-partner-confessed-that-he-sexually-abused-his-younger-sister-2-yrs-younger-from-when-he-was-13-15-he-would-make-her-touch-him-ejaculate-and-he-would-touch-her-breasts-i-feel-very-disgusted-and-stru-958#comments) [ #### This week I found graphic images of my sons, ages 12 and 14, on an old flip phone in their room. It didn't seem to be connected to service. I was shocked and horrified. My kids were upset but seemed to want to downplay what happened. I called the police and handed over the phone, and they are now investigating. Next week we have a forensic interview scheduled, and my kids won't talk to me about any of it. I've been avoiding my extended family, which is hard because we're normally close. How do I handle the waiting, without more information, and how do I get through this without everyone finding out? 🇺🇸 What a horrible and nightmarish situation thank you so much for trusting us with this. What you're carrying right now, the not knowing alongside the fear of it becoming public, is one of the heaviest combinations a parent can hold. You did the hard, right thing by calling the police and handing over that phone instead of trying to investigate it yourself. That is worth showing yourself some gratitude for. ](/en/answer/this-week-i-found-some-graphic-pictures-of-my-kids-on-a-phone-in-their-room-it-was-an-old-flip-phone-and-didnt-seem-to-be-connected-to-service-it-was-shocking-and-horrifying-for-me-the-kids-were-upset-936) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/this-week-i-found-some-graphic-pictures-of-my-kids-on-a-phone-in-their-room-it-was-an-old-flip-phone-and-didnt-seem-to-be-connected-to-service-it-was-shocking-and-horrifying-for-me-the-kids-were-upset-936#comments) [ #### My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, about 9 hours apart. She recently told me she was almost a victim of human trafficking. According to her, she and her friend were drugged and found by police before they could be transported. She woke up in a hospital where she was tested for STDs (all negative), but tragically, she told me her friend didn't survive. This isn't her first trauma - she was also molested when she was 8 years old. Learning about this recent incident has deeply affected me. While she tells me not to worry and that she's okay, I'm struggling to cope. I still love her, but I feel different. Being so far away when this happened makes it worse - I wish I could be there for her, though I'm not sure how much help I could be. I'm feeling lost and empty, and I need advice on how to handle this situation and my emotions. 🇿🇦 Wow. What a terrible situation. I am so sorry this happened. I hear how deeply affected you are by this and I want to acknowledge how overwhelming it must feel to process this news while being physically distant from her. It's completely normal to feel lost, empty, and changed by learning about a loved one's traumatic experience. Your struggle with these feelings shows how much you care about her. While she might say she's "okay" and that you shouldn't stress, it's natural for you to be concerned. Trauma affects not only the survivor but also... ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-and-i-are-in-a-long-distance-relationship-about-9-hours-apart-she-recently-told-me-she-was-almost-a-victim-of-human-trafficking-according-to-her-she-and-her-friend-were-drugged-and-found-by-police-before-they-could-be-transported-she-woke-up-in-a-hospital-where-she-was-tested-for-stds-all-negative-but-tragically-she-told-me-her-friend-didnt-survive-this-isnt-her-first-trauma-she-was-also-molested-when-she-was-8-years-old-learning-about-this-recent-incident-has-deeply-affected-me-while-she-tells-me-not-to-worry-and-that-shes-okay-im-struggling-to-cope-i-still-love-her-but-i-feel-different-being-so-far-away-when-this-happened-makes-it-worse-i-wish-i-could-be-there-for-her-though-im-not-sure-how-much-help-i-could-be-im-feeling-lost-and-empty-and-i-need-advice-on-how-to-handle-this-situation-and-my-emotions-348) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 1 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-and-i-are-in-a-long-distance-relationship-about-9-hours-apart-she-recently-told-me-she-was-almost-a-victim-of-human-trafficking-according-to-her-she-and-her-friend-were-drugged-and-found-by-police-before-they-could-be-transported-she-woke-up-in-a-hospital-where-she-was-tested-for-stds-all-negative-but-tragically-she-told-me-her-friend-didnt-survive-this-isnt-her-first-trauma-she-was-also-molested-when-she-was-8-years-old-learning-about-this-recent-incident-has-deeply-affected-me-while-she-tells-me-not-to-worry-and-that-shes-okay-im-struggling-to-cope-i-still-love-her-but-i-feel-different-being-so-far-away-when-this-happened-makes-it-worse-i-wish-i-could-be-there-for-her-though-im-not-sure-how-much-help-i-could-be-im-feeling-lost-and-empty-and-i-need-advice-on-how-to-handle-this-situation-and-my-emotions-348#comments) [ #### My friend's mom found a group chat on her phone with inappropriate sexual conversations (my friend wasn't participating, just in the chat because of other friends). Her mom got angry and reached toward my friend's private areas while yelling "do you want boys to touch there?!" My friend backed away, scared. She told me she's sure her mom would have touched her if she hadn't moved away. Is this sexual assault? 🇯🇴 I'm really sorry to hear about what your friend went through. It can be incredibly upsetting and confusing when a parent crosses a boundary like that, and what happened to your friend was absolutely inappropriate and concerning behavior. Many parents do have intense reactions when they discover their children have been exposed to sexual content or conversations, often stemming from fear, protective instincts, or their own discomfort with sexuality topics. Parents may panic and react poorly when they feel their child's safety or innocence is at... ](/en/answer/my-friends-mom-found-a-group-chat-on-her-phone-with-inappropriate-sexual-conversations-my-friend-wasnt-participating-just-in-the-chat-because-of-other-friends-her-mom-got-angry-and-reached-toward-my-f) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-friends-mom-found-a-group-chat-on-her-phone-with-inappropriate-sexual-conversations-my-friend-wasnt-participating-just-in-the-chat-because-of-other-friends-her-mom-got-angry-and-reached-toward-my-f#comments) [ #### Mi hija fue violada por su terapista, quedo embarazada. Soy su Madre como puedo sanar su dolor. El agresor sigue amenazandola. Comparten custodia de mi nieto. My daughter was raped by her therapist and became pregnant. I am her Mother, how can I heal her pain? The aggressor continues to threaten her and they share custody of my grandson. 🇲🇽 Muchas gracias por esta pregunta. Lamento profundamente el dolor que está atravesando su familia. La situación que ha soportado su hija es verdaderamente horrible e inimaginable. Como su madre, su función principal es brindarle amor incondicional, creerle y apoyarla. Valídela haciéndole saber que lo que le sucedió no fue en absoluto su culpa. La total responsabilidad recae en el terapeuta que explotó su posición de poder y abusó de la confianza depositada en él de la manera... ](/en/answer/mi-hija-fue-violada-por-su-terapista-quedo-embarazada-soy-su-madre-como-puedo-sanar-su-dolor-el-agresor-sigue-amenazandola-comparten-custodia-de-mi-nieto-my-daughter-was-raped-by-her-therapist-and-became-pregnant-i-am-her-mother-how-can-i-heal-her-pain-the-aggressor-continues-to-threaten-her-and-they-share-custody-of-my-grandson-110) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/mi-hija-fue-violada-por-su-terapista-quedo-embarazada-soy-su-madre-como-puedo-sanar-su-dolor-el-agresor-sigue-amenazandola-comparten-custodia-de-mi-nieto-my-daughter-was-raped-by-her-therapist-and-became-pregnant-i-am-her-mother-how-can-i-heal-her-pain-the-aggressor-continues-to-threaten-her-and-they-share-custody-of-my-grandson-110#comments) [ #### My mom was sexually abused by a cousin for five years as a small child, and then raped by a stranger when she was a young teenager. This was the 1960s, so nothing was ever talked about and she never received any kind of counseling. She told me what happened when I was 12, and I have never stopped thinking about it. I'm 50 now and she's nearly 70. She has never processed the early abuse. She keeps the house spotless, puts on a good face, and is even still friendly with her abuser, acting like it's all behind her, but I can feel how much it's still vibrating underneath everything she does. I was never abused myself, my mom made sure of that, but a friend once pointed out that I still absorbed her fear and avoidance just from being raised by her, and that tracks with a lot of the behaviors I recognize in myself. Now my 18 year old daughter has experienced her own sexual trauma, and I feel like this pattern of fear has carried through three generations of women in my family. A few months ago my mom finally admitted she never dealt with her trauma and has been thinking about getting help, but she hasn't taken any steps. How do my daughter and I identify and break the cycle we inherited from her? And how do I encourage my mom without pressuring her? 🇺🇸 Thank you for trusting us with this. You're not imagining that thread running through three generations. It's real and you've clearly been paying attention to it for a long time. Trauma that never gets processed doesn't just sit quietly somewhere. It reorganizes a person from the inside, changes how they hold their body, how they relate to people, how their nervous system reads danger years after the actual danger is gone. Your mom's scrubbing, her composure, her staying friendly with the person who hurt her, all of that is survival. It's a st... ](/en/answer/my-mom-was-sexually-abused-by-a-cousin-for-5-years-when-she-was-a-very-small-child-and-then-was-raped-by-a-stranger-as-a-very-young-teenager-my-grandparents-did-the-best-they-knew-how-to-get-her-to-sa-939) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-mom-was-sexually-abused-by-a-cousin-for-5-years-when-she-was-a-very-small-child-and-then-was-raped-by-a-stranger-as-a-very-young-teenager-my-grandparents-did-the-best-they-knew-how-to-get-her-to-sa-939#comments) [ #### My girlfriend told me that before she was with me, she was sexually assaulted. How can I help her? 🇺🇸 Thank you so much for this question. We really appreciate you reaching out to find out how to best support the healing of your girlfriend. When your girlfriend shared her experience of sexual assault with you, she placed a great deal of trust in you. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding. ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-told-me-that-before-she-was-with-me-she-was-sexually-assaulted-how-can-i-help-her-115) 2 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-girlfriend-told-me-that-before-she-was-with-me-she-was-sexually-assaulted-how-can-i-help-her-115#comments) [ #### What are ways families can encourage their loved ones to report gender-based violence? 🇺🇸 Thank you for asking this question. The first thing we want to emphasize is that whether or not your loved one chooses to report their gender-based violence experience is ultimately up to them. It is essential to respect their autonomy, recognizing that forcing them to report may enhance their distress. Supporting survivors in their decision-making, providing non-coercive assistance, and fostering environments of trust and empowerment are vital to ensure you continue to be a supportive healing presence that they know they can turn to goi... ](/en/answer/what-are-ways-families-can-encourage-their-loved-ones-to-report-gender-based-violence-85) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-are-ways-families-can-encourage-their-loved-ones-to-report-gender-based-violence-85#comments) [ #### How can responsible citizens effectively support survivors of gender-based violence in their communities? 🇿🇦 Supporting survivors of gender-based violence requires both individual awareness and collective action rooted in respect for survivor autonomy and safety. One of the most impactful strategies is becoming an informed bystander who can recognize warning signs and respond appropriately when situations arise. This means learning about the dynamics of abuse, understanding that leaving an abusive situation is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and knowing how to offer support without judgment or pressure. When someone discloses their expe... ](/en/answer/how-can-responsible-citizens-effectively-support-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-in-their-communities-675) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-responsible-citizens-effectively-support-survivors-of-gender-based-violence-in-their-communities-675#comments) [ #### How can I support victims of human trafficking? 🇿🇦 Simply put, human trafficking is compelled service. It occurs when a person is compelled into service for profit. Labor trafficking and sex trafficking are the two most commonly seen forms of human trafficking in the United states. Labor trafficking can occur in almost any industry; including begging, domestic servitude, industrial fishing, agriculture, construction, hospitality, landscaping, and health & beauty. Sex trafficking can occur in a variety of venues, such as massage parlors, truck stops, brothels, strip clubs, hotels/motel... ](/en/answer/how-can-i-support-victims-of-human-trafficking-27) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-i-support-victims-of-human-trafficking-27#comments) [ #### Describe how would you help a gender-based violence (GBV) victim. 🇺🇸 Gender-based violence (GBV) is a global health concern and human rights issue. GBV is violence against an individual based on the individual's literal or recognized sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation. GBV is influenced by societal expectations and gendered power dynamics and can encompass such acts as intimate partner violence, sexual violence, child abuse, and stalking. GBV can take many forms, including physical, emotional, economic, and sexual abuse. ](/en/answer/describe-how-would-you-help-a-gender-based-violence-gbv-victim-35) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/describe-how-would-you-help-a-gender-based-violence-gbv-victim-35#comments) [ #### A gender-based violence survivor is being harassed by an ex-partner and fears for their life. What protection measures can you help them access? 🇧🇼 Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence, immediate action is crucial. For immediate danger situations, your safety must come first. If you believe you're in immediate danger, call emergency services (911 in the US) without hesitation. Many people worry about "overreacting," but when it comes to your safety, it's better to err on the side of caution. ](/en/answer/a-gender-based-violence-survivor-is-being-harassed-by-an-ex-partner-and-fears-for-their-life-what-protection-measures-can-you-help-them-access-460 "Thank you for reaching out about this serious situation. When someone fears for their life due to gender-based violence or intimate partner violence, immediate action is crucial.  For immediate danger situations, your safety must come first. If you believe you're in immediate danger, call emergency services (911 in the US) without hesitation. Many people worry about \"overreacting,\" but when it comes to your safety, it's better to err on the side of caution.") 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/a-gender-based-violence-survivor-is-being-harassed-by-an-ex-partner-and-fears-for-their-life-what-protection-measures-can-you-help-them-access-460#comments) [ #### I know someone who is physically abused by her husband, but she won't ask for help or file a complaint. She is scared because she has 2 small children and is also not independent financially. How can I help her? 🇮🇳 Thank you for asking this question. It can be extremely challenging to witness someone in your life struggling with intimate partner or domestic violence, particularly if they have financial or family constraints that makes leaving the situation challenging. While it is important to respect their choice to stay, there are many things you can do to support them. ](/en/answer/i-know-someone-who-is-physically-abused-by-her-husband-but-she-wont-ask-for-help-or-file-a-complaint-she-is-scared-because-she-has-2-small-children-and-is-also-not-independent-financially-how-can-i-help-her-43) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/i-know-someone-who-is-physically-abused-by-her-husband-but-she-wont-ask-for-help-or-file-a-complaint-she-is-scared-because-she-has-2-small-children-and-is-also-not-independent-financially-how-can-i-help-her-43#comments) [ #### How can I best support my friend who was sexually assaulted on our college campus? It's especially concerning because the person who committed the assault appears to be a repeat offender. This person wants to become a doctor, and it's scary to think they might not be held accountable for their actions, similar to recent cases in the medical field. I'm devastated for my friend and don't know how to help. 🇺🇸 Thank you for reaching out with such an important question. Your concern for your friend shows what a compassionate and thoughtful person you are. They are fortunate to have someone like you in their life. Supporting a friend who has experienced sexual assault requires compassion, patience, and understanding. First and foremost, believe your friend unconditionally. This validation is crucial, as survivors often face doubt or minimization of their experiences from others. Let your friend know you're there for them without judgment or pressure,... ](/en/answer/how-can-i-best-support-my-friend-who-was-sexually-assaulted-on-our-college-campus-its-especially-concerning-because-the-person-who-committed-the-assault-appears-to-be-a-repeat-offender-this-person-wan) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-i-best-support-my-friend-who-was-sexually-assaulted-on-our-college-campus-its-especially-concerning-because-the-person-who-committed-the-assault-appears-to-be-a-repeat-offender-this-person-wan#comments) [NO MORE Silence, Speak Your Truth Community](https://stories.nomore.org) [ #### My 24-year-old sister physically abuses my 50-year-old mother, and this has been happening for 3-4 years. My 53-year-old father also abuses my mother. She is beaten constantly with various objects like belts and utensils, and she bleeds from the wounds. I feel helpless watching this happen. My mother doesn't want to report it because she says it would make things complicated due to societal expectations in Indian culture, my father being the primary income earner, and my sister's upcoming marriage. What can I do to help her? 🇮🇳 I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It must be incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching to witness your mother being hurt by both your sister and father. What you're experiencing is deeply traumatic, and your feelings of helplessness are completely understandable, especially when cultural and societal pressures make taking action seem complicated. Your concern for your mother's safety shows tremendous love and strength, and how much you care for her. ](/en/answer/my-24-year-old-sister-physically-abuses-my-50-year-old-mother-and-this-has-been-happening-for-3-4-years-my-53-year-old-father-also-abuses-my-mother-she-is-beaten-constantly-with-various-objects-like-b) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-24-year-old-sister-physically-abuses-my-50-year-old-mother-and-this-has-been-happening-for-3-4-years-my-53-year-old-father-also-abuses-my-mother-she-is-beaten-constantly-with-various-objects-like-b#comments) [ #### How can someone become an effective advocate against sexual violence? 🇺🇸 Thank you for this question and for wanting to strengthen your advocacy for survivors of sexual harm. Becoming an effective advocate against sexual violence is a meaningful way to support survivors and contribute to positive change in society. Here are some ways you can start... ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-become-an-effective-advocate-against-sexual-violence-192) 3 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-become-an-effective-advocate-against-sexual-violence-192#comments) [ #### Describe immediate supports that should be given to a victim that has just been violated. 🇺🇸 Thank you so much for this question. When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond and support them appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. ](/en/answer/describe-immediate-supports-that-should-be-given-to-a-victim-that-has-just-been-violated-32) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/describe-immediate-supports-that-should-be-given-to-a-victim-that-has-just-been-violated-32#comments) [ #### What are two core strategies that responsible citizens may use to help victims of gender- based violence? 🇿🇦 Everyone can play a crucial role in supporting victims and survivors of gender-based violence. While there are many things you can do, here are two specific strategies. The first strategy is to believe and validate survivors when they share their experiences. This involves listening without judgment, avoiding questions that might imply doubt, and explicitly stating belief in their story. Simple phrases like "I believe you" and "It's not your fault" can be incredibly powerful and help counteract the self-doubt and shame that many survivors stru... ](/en/answer/what-are-two-core-strategies-that-responsible-citizens-may-use-to-help-victims-of-gender-based-violence-177 "Everyone can play a crucial role in supporting victims and survivors of gender-based violence. While there are many things you can do, here are two specific strategies. The first strategy is to believe and validate survivors when they share their experiences. This involves listening without judgment, avoiding questions that might imply doubt, and explicitly stating belief in their story. Simple phrases like \"I believe you\" and \"It's not your fault\" can be incredibly powerful and help counteract the self-doubt and shame that many survivors stru...") 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-are-two-core-strategies-that-responsible-citizens-may-use-to-help-victims-of-gender-based-violence-177#comments) [ #### When my boyfriend was 12, he briefly touched his younger cousin's private area over their clothes for a few seconds. When his cousin asked him to move his hand, he immediately stopped and nothing happened again. He describes this as childhood curiosity from when he was going through puberty. I'm trying to understand whether this falls under typical childhood sexual exploration or if it's something more serious. Is this a common experience? He has OCD and I'm wondering if I should be concerned about this. 🇺🇸 We appreciate you reaching out with this question and understand how confusing it can be to navigate this kind of disclosure from someone you care about. It's completely natural to want to understand what happened and what it means, both for your boyfriend's younger cousin and for your relationship. ](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened) 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 7 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/when-my-boyfriend-was-12-he-briefly-touched-his-younger-cousins-private-area-over-their-clothes-for-a-few-seconds-when-his-cousin-asked-him-to-move-his-hand-he-immediately-stopped-and-nothing-happened#comments) [ #### What can I do to help end sexual violence? 🇺🇸 One way to end something is to try to stop it before it even begins. Showing up for people you know and people you don't know when you feel a situation is unsafe could look like interrupting the situation by creating a distraction, notifying an authority or trusted professional, or asking the person in concern directly if they feel safe. ](/en/answer/what-can-i-do-to-help-end-sexual-violence-5) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/what-can-i-do-to-help-end-sexual-violence-5#comments) [ #### How can someone who has been groomed online break the cycle of seeking out abusive relationships, and what can friends or loved ones do to support them? 🇰🇼 Online grooming is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on the mental health and well-being of people who experience it. It is not uncommon for those who have experienced grooming to find themselves in a pattern of seeking out similar abusive relationships. This behavior can be attributed to a variety of factors, including low self-esteem, a distorted perception of what constitutes a healthy relationship, and unresolved trauma. ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-who-has-been-groomed-online-break-the-cycle-of-seeking-out-abusive-relationships-and-what-can-friends-or-loved-ones-do-to-support-them-139) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/how-can-someone-who-has-been-groomed-online-break-the-cycle-of-seeking-out-abusive-relationships-and-what-can-friends-or-loved-ones-do-to-support-them-139#comments) [ #### My sister-in-law recently disclosed that when she was about 5 years old, her brother (my brother-in-law), who was around 7 or 8 at the time, pressured her to perform oral on him. The family is divided on how to interpret this situation. My sister-in-law acknowledges this as a source of trauma for her, but doesn't accuse her brother of being a predator. Given their young ages at the time and likely lack of understanding about consent and appropriate behavior, how should this situation be viewed? Is it possible for a harmful incident to occur between children without labeling the initiator as a predator? Could this have been a result of lack of education or possibly learned behavior? How can the family address this sensitively while supporting both individuals involved? 🇺🇸 Thank you for sharing this complex and sensitive family situation. Your concern for both your sister-in-law and brother-in-law, as well as your desire to understand the nuances of this difficult topic, is commendable. First and foremost, it's crucial to validate your sister-in-law's experience and the trauma she's carrying. Her disclosure took immense courage, and it's important that she feels heard and supported. I want to emphasize that your sister-in-law has the absolute right to label and describe her experience in whatever way feels most... ](/en/answer/my-sister-in-law-recently-disclosed-that-when-she-was-about-5-years-old-her-brother-my-brother-in-law-who-was-around-7-or-8-at-the-time-pressured-her-to-perform-oral-on-him-the-family-is-divided-on-how-to-interpret-this-situation-my-sister-in-law-acknowledges-this-as-a-source-of-trauma-for-her-but-doesnt-accuse-her-brother-of-being-a-predator-given-their-young-ages-at-the-time-and-likely-lack-of-understanding-about-consent-and-appropriate-behavior-how-should-this-situation-be-viewed-is-it-possible-for-a-harmful-incident-to-occur-between-children-without-labeling-the-initiator-as-a-predator-could-this-have-been-a-result-of-lack-of-education-or-possibly-learned-behavior-how-can-the-family-address-this-sensitively-while-supporting-both-individuals-involved-298) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-sister-in-law-recently-disclosed-that-when-she-was-about-5-years-old-her-brother-my-brother-in-law-who-was-around-7-or-8-at-the-time-pressured-her-to-perform-oral-on-him-the-family-is-divided-on-how-to-interpret-this-situation-my-sister-in-law-acknowledges-this-as-a-source-of-trauma-for-her-but-doesnt-accuse-her-brother-of-being-a-predator-given-their-young-ages-at-the-time-and-likely-lack-of-understanding-about-consent-and-appropriate-behavior-how-should-this-situation-be-viewed-is-it-possible-for-a-harmful-incident-to-occur-between-children-without-labeling-the-initiator-as-a-predator-could-this-have-been-a-result-of-lack-of-education-or-possibly-learned-behavior-how-can-the-family-address-this-sensitively-while-supporting-both-individuals-involved-298#comments) [ #### My partner (21F) recently shared that her uncle sexually assaulted her multiple times when she was 12-13. No one in her family knows, and her uncle still lives in her family home where she visits during holidays. I'm seeking advice on two things: how to support her mental health and be aware of trauma responses, and guidance on potential legal actions we could take. This would be a huge help for both of us. 🇵🇭 Thank you for reaching out with such care and concern for your partner. Learning that someone you love has experienced sexual trauma, especially during childhood and by a family member, can feel overwhelming. Your desire to support both her healing and potential pursuit of justice shows deep commitment. ](/en/answer/my-partner-21f-recently-shared-that-her-uncle-sexually-assaulted-her-multiple-times-when-she-was-12-13-no-one-in-her-family-knows-and-her-uncle-still-lives-in-her-family-home-where-she-visits-during-holidays-im-seeking-advice-on-two-things-how-to-support-her-mental-health-and-be-aware-of-trauma-responses-and-guidance-on-potential-legal-actions-we-could-take-this-would-be-a-huge-help-for-both-of-us-401) 0 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 0 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-partner-21f-recently-shared-that-her-uncle-sexually-assaulted-her-multiple-times-when-she-was-12-13-no-one-in-her-family-knows-and-her-uncle-still-lives-in-her-family-home-where-she-visits-during-holidays-im-seeking-advice-on-two-things-how-to-support-her-mental-health-and-be-aware-of-trauma-responses-and-guidance-on-potential-legal-actions-we-could-take-this-would-be-a-huge-help-for-both-of-us-401#comments) [ #### My 18-year-old girlfriend was sexually abused when she was 5 years old by her 14-year-old cousin. She remembers being taken to a separate room, and describes vaginal penetration. It happened once. She told her parents when she was 12. She had a suicide attempt in high school that she didn't follow through on. Right now, she seems to be doing well. She has healthy relationships, no issues with intimacy, and says the experience hasn't really affected her life. She sometimes has painful memories but nothing that stops her from functioning. As her partner, I want to understand what she went through. I feel like her body somehow "belongs" to her abuser because he was her first sexual encounter. I have questions about the physical severity of what happened, whether she can really be okay despite how serious the abuse was, and whether what she experienced has left any lasting physical differences. 🇲🇽 Thank you so much for reaching out. The fact that you are asking these questions tells me you love her and want to understand. That is a good thing. Before I move through everything you asked, I want to speak directly to something you said, because it runs through all of it. ](/en/answer/my-18-year-old-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-when-she-was-5-by-her-cousin-who-was-about-14-she-remembers-little-but-says-she-was-with-some-cousins-and-her-brother-when-her-14-year-old-cousin-took-her-928 "My 18-year-old girlfriend was sexually abused when she was 5 years old by her 14-year-old cousin. She remembers being taken to a separate room, and describes vaginal penetration. It happened once. She told her parents when she was 12. She had a suicide attempt in high school that she didn't follow through on. Right now, she seems to be doing well. She has healthy relationships, no issues with intimacy, and says the experience hasn't really affected her life. She sometimes has painful memories but nothing that stops her from functioning. As her partner, I want to understand what she went through. I feel like her body somehow \"belongs\" to her abuser because he was her first sexual encounter. I have questions about the physical severity of what happened, whether she can really be okay despite how serious the abuse was, and whether what she experienced has left any lasting physical differences.") 1 Upvote(s) Upvote(s) [ 2 Comment(s) Comment(s) ](/en/answer/my-18-year-old-girlfriend-was-sexually-abused-when-she-was-5-by-her-cousin-who-was-about-14-she-remembers-little-but-says-she-was-with-some-cousins-and-her-brother-when-her-14-year-old-cousin-took-her-928#comments) ## More topics [ Making sense of childhood experiences ](/en/learn/topics/making-sense-of-childhood-experiences)[ Understanding specific types of trauma and harm ](/en/learn/topics/understanding-specific-types-of-trauma-and-harm)[ Making sense of adult experiences ](/en/learn/topics/making-sense-of-adult-experiences)[ Managing emotions and how you feel in your body ](/en/learn/topics/managing-emotions-and-how-you-feel-in-your-body)[ Seeking help after trauma ](/en/learn/topics/seeking-help-after-trauma)[ Sex, sexuality, and intimacy after trauma ](/en/learn/topics/sex-sexuality-and-intimacy-after-trauma) [See all topics](/en/learn/topics) For immediate help, visit {{resource}} Made with in Raleigh, NC | Read our [Community Guidelines](https://www.ourwave.org/en/community-guidelines), [Privacy Policy](https://www.ourwave.org/en/privacy), and [Terms](https://www.ourwave.org/en/terms) | [ #### Resources ](/en/resources) ### Post a Message Share a message of support with the community. 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Name the following out loud: 5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window) 4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?) 3 – things you can hear 2 – things you can smell 1 – thing you like about yourself. Take a deep breath to end. From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at. Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one). Take a deep breath to end. Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud: 1\. Where am I? 2\. What day of the week is today? 3\. What is today’s date? 4\. What is the current month? 5\. What is the current year? 6\. How old am I? 7\. What season is it? 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