---
title: I've been experiencing intrusive thoughts about a childhood memory. When I was 6-7, my friend and I played make-believe on the school bus where one was the 'boyfriend' and one the 'girlfriend.' During this play, I suggested we go under the bus seat, and I told her to touch my knee and say she was 'humping' my leg, which she did. I recently reconnected with this friend and asked if I'd made her uncomfortable, and she said she didn't remember it and we were 'just kids.' After this conversation, she stopped responding to my messages, which has triggered intense anxiety. I suspect I have OCD (undiagnosed) and have become consumed with worry about whether I did something harmful as a child or in reaching out to her now. Do I actually have anything to be worried about, or is this my anxiety? I feel like I might have ruined my life. ~ Our Wave Community
description: <p>Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences so openly with us. What you've described is a very common experience of childhood play that falls well...
url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/answer/ive-been-experiencing-intrusive-thoughts-about-a-childhood-memory-when-i-was-6-7-my-friend-and-i-played-make-believe-on-the-school-bus-where-one-was-the-boyfriend-and-one-the-girlfriend-during-this-pl.md
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# I've been experiencing intrusive thoughts about a childhood memory. When I was 6-7, my friend and I played make-believe on the school bus where one was the 'boyfriend' and one the 'girlfriend.' During this play, I suggested we go under the bus seat, and I told her to touch my knee and say she was 'humping' my leg, which she did. I recently reconnected with this friend and asked if I'd made her uncomfortable, and she said she didn't remember it and we were 'just kids.' After this conversation, she stopped responding to my messages, which has triggered intense anxiety. I suspect I have OCD (undiagnosed) and have become consumed with worry about whether I did something harmful as a child or in reaching out to her now. Do I actually have anything to be worried about, or is this my anxiety? I feel like I might have ruined my life.

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](/en/learn?tags=making-sense-of-childhood-experiences)

Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences so openly with us. What you've described is a very common experience of childhood play that falls well within the range of normal developmental behavior. Children around ages 5-7 often engage in role-playing games like "house" or "boyfriend/girlfriend" as they begin to make sense of adult relationships they observe in the world around them. The behavior you described - suggesting your friend touch your knee and using a word you had heard but didn't understand - represents typical childhood curiosity rather than harmful behavior.

When children engage in this type of play at similar ages and developmental stages, without coercion or understanding of sexual meaning, it's considered normal exploratory behavior. Reflecting on childhood memories with the understanding we have as adults, however, can sometimes be confusing and unsettling. It's common for children to mimic words or actions they've heard without fully grasping their meanings or implications. The incident you described sounds like innocent childhood exploration rather than something malicious or harmful.

Some of these feelings you are describing might be consistent with OCD patterns, particularly [moral or harm OCD](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.treatmyocd.com%2Fwhat-is-ocd%2Fcommon-fears%2Fwhat-is-moral-ocd-signs-symptoms-and-treatment&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=bcd2aeae-9517-4334-8ae1-a835efc41623&sig=d165b4c88d74f32813a7904d0d91d12af54c91414c234e4c56ab8dc051c17cbb), which can cause excessive doubt, rumination, and seeking reassurance about past actions. Please talk to a healthcare professional about the intense anxiety, persistent worrying despite multiple reassurances, and the feeling that you need absolute certainty that you are describing-- those are often hallmark symptoms.

Your friend's initial response that she wasn't upset and "we were just kids" is significant. While her lack of response afterward might be triggering your anxiety, there are many possible explanations - she might be busy, she might not check Facebook regularly, or she simply might not have anything more to add to the conversation. Sometimes people become less responsive for reasons entirely unrelated to us.

It's clear that you care deeply about others' feelings, as shown by your efforts to reconnect with your friend and ensure she wasn't adversely affected by the past. This demonstrates your compassionate nature, but in this case, the evidence strongly suggests your childhood behavior was developmentally normal and your adult actions in reaching out were motivated by genuine care.

Please be gentle with yourself. You deserve peace of mind and freedom from these distressing thoughts. You have the right to find joy in the things you love and to live without the weight of this worry. Your family and friends care about you, and it's okay to lean on them for support as you navigate this difficult time. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and taking care of your well-being is important. Thank you for trusting us with this.

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Canada\]Canada](/answer/ive-been-experiencing-intrusive-thoughts-about-a-childhood-memory-when-i-was-6-7-my-friend-and-i-played-make-believe-on-the-school-bus-where-one-was-the-boyfriend-and-one-the-girlfriend-during-this-pl?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/answer/ive-been-experiencing-intrusive-thoughts-about-a-childhood-memory-when-i-was-6-7-my-friend-and-i-played-make-believe-on-the-school-bus-where-one-was-the-boyfriend-and-one-the-girlfriend-during-this-pl?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/answer/ive-been-experiencing-intrusive-thoughts-about-a-childhood-memory-when-i-was-6-7-my-friend-and-i-played-make-believe-on-the-school-bus-where-one-was-the-boyfriend-and-one-the-girlfriend-during-this-pl?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/answer/ive-been-experiencing-intrusive-thoughts-about-a-childhood-memory-when-i-was-6-7-my-friend-and-i-played-make-believe-on-the-school-bus-where-one-was-the-boyfriend-and-one-the-girlfriend-during-this-pl?country=cr)[\[Image: 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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1\. Where am I?

2\. What day of the week is today?

3\. What is today’s date?

4\. What is the current month?

5\. What is the current year?

6\. How old am I?

7\. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.

Try another grounding activity

I feel grounded and ready