---
title: Is it still sexual assault if it's the same gender? I'm... ~ Our Wave Community
description: I'm so sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation. Yes, what you're describing could be considered sexual assault, regardless of the genders...
url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were.md
---

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# Is it still sexual assault if it's the same gender? I'm female, and another female always says sexual things to me and about my body. Worse, she's been touching and gripping my thighs very high up while we're in class. Recently she threw her hand back and touched my private area. I just found out this is called sexual assault, as I thought only rape was sexual assault. I need answers please.

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Making sense of childhood experiences](/en/learn/topics/making-sense-of-childhood-experiences)[Understanding specific types of trauma and harm](/en/learn/topics/understanding-specific-types-of-trauma-and-harm)

I'm so sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation. Yes, what you're describing could be considered sexual assault, regardless of the genders involved. Sexual assault can absolutely happen between people of the same gender. It doesn't matter if the person touching you is a girl or a boy—everyone has the right to feel safe and respected.

When someone makes sexual comments about your body, touches you in ways that make you uncomfortable, or invades your personal space without your consent, it's not okay. The behavior you're experiencing—like gripping your thighs high up and touching your private areas—is inappropriate and unacceptable, especially in a school setting. [Sexual assault](https://community.ourwave.org/_external/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nsvrc.org%2Flets-talk-campus%2Fdefinitions-of-terms&resourceId=non_specific&localeId=en&countryId=us&src=answer&questionId=9a89c33f-0e38-4c56-9e4a-957f2f094c14&sig=5efae4e7a82e6e4cc788948bf8d9093ed419e28a24a5f9dd766bb52f23daf73a) refers to any unwanted sexual contact or behavior that occurs without consent, and this includes what you've described.

It's important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries about who can touch you and how. Setting boundaries might feel difficult, but you can try saying things like "Please don't touch me like that," "I don't like those comments about my body," or "Stop, that makes me uncomfortable." You can also try to move away from this person when possible or ask to change seats in class. Your body belongs to you, and you get to decide who touches it and how.

I encourage you to talk to a trusted adult about what's happening. This could be a parent, guardian, teacher, school counselor, or another adult you feel comfortable with. You might start the conversation by saying, "Something is happening at school that makes me uncomfortable, and I need help." They can support you and take steps to ensure that this behavior stops.

You're brave for reaching out and seeking answers. This kind of situation can be confusing and difficult to navigate, but please know that what's happening isn't your fault, and you deserve to feel safe and respected at all times. Remember that you're not alone, and there are people who want to help you. Thank you for reaching out to us.

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\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/answer/is-it-still-sexual-assault-if-its-the-same-gender-im-female-and-another-female-always-says-sexual-things-to-me-and-about-my-body-worse-shes-been-touching-and-gripping-my-thighs-very-high-up-while-were?country=do)[\[Image: 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Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1\. Where am I?

2\. What day of the week is today?

3\. What is today’s date?

4\. What is the current month?

5\. What is the current year?

6\. How old am I?

7\. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.

Try another grounding activity

I feel grounded and ready