---
title: Around age 7, my cousin (a girl 7 months younger than me)... ~ Our Wave Community
description: Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to revisit these experiences. What you've been through is incredibly...
url: https://api.ourwave.org/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w.md
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Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=do)[\[Image: 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# Around age 7, my cousin (a girl 7 months younger than me) exposed me to pornography. I can't tell if that would be considered child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) or 'normal' childhood behavior. My experiences worsened throughout childhood - at ages 8-9, I have memories of my older brothers molesting me through inappropriate touching. From age 9 until 21, I was groomed by predators online, which severely impacted my self-perception. I'm working with a therapist and doing art therapy to help my inner child express emotions around these experiences. What other self-healing approaches could I try at home to address this deep-rooted trauma?

\[Image: Dr. Laura\]

Answer by **Dr. Laura**

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Topics:[Seeking help after trauma](/en/learn/topics/seeking-help-after-trauma)

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to revisit these experiences. What you've been through is incredibly challenging, and it's completely understandable that you're finding it hard to heal from such deep-rooted trauma.

It's important to acknowledge that the experiences you had with your cousin and brothers were not your fault. Being exposed to pornography at such a young age and experiencing unwanted touching can be confusing and distressing, especially when it involves family members. These early experiences can have profound and lasting effects on your emotional and psychological well-being.

Your involvement with online grooming from the age of 9 to 21 adds another layer of complexity to your healing journey. The manipulation and exploitation you faced are not a reflection of who you are but rather a testament to the vulnerabilities that can arise from earlier traumatic events. It's courageous of you to recognize these patterns and to seek ways to heal.

I'm glad to hear that you're working with a therapist and engaging in art therapy to connect with your inner child. Expressing emotions through creativity can be a powerful tool in processing trauma. In addition to what you're already doing, there are some at-home practices that might support your healing journey.

Journaling can be a helpful way to process your thoughts and emotions. Writing down your feelings may provide clarity and insight, allowing you to reflect on your experiences in a safe space. Mindfulness and meditation practices might help ground you in the present moment, reducing anxiety and helping you manage stress. Simple breathing exercises or guided meditations could be a gentle start.

Incorporating physical activity into your routine can also be beneficial. Activities like walking, yoga, or dance can improve your mood and help you reconnect with your body in a positive way. Establishing a daily routine that includes self-care activities can create a sense of stability and control, reinforcing your commitment to your well-being.

Connecting with supportive people, whether trusted friends or support groups, may provide additional emotional support. Sharing your experiences with others who have faced similar challenges can help reduce feelings of isolation and remind you that you're not alone. There are also books and online resources about healing from trauma that might offer new strategies and perspectives.

Above all, practicing self-compassion is essential. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge that healing takes time. It's okay to have difficult days. Celebrate small victories, and recognize the strength it takes to confront these experiences and seek out ways to heal.

Remember, healing is not a linear process, and it's perfectly okay to take things one step at a time. You've already shown great courage in addressing these experiences and actively engaging in your healing journey. You are not alone, and there are people and resources ready to support you every step of the way. Thank you again for reaching out and sharing your story.

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\[Image: El Salvador\]El Salvador

[\[Image: United States\]United States](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=us)[\[Image: Argentina\]Argentina](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=ar)[\[Image: Australia\]Australia](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=au)[\[Image: Bolivia\]Bolivia](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=bo)[\[Image: Canada\]Canada](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=ca)[\[Image: Chile\]Chile](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cl)[\[Image: Colombia\]Colombia](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=co)[\[Image: Costa Rica\]Costa Rica](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cr)[\[Image: Cuba\]Cuba](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=cu)[\[Image: Dominican Republic\]Dominican Republic](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=do)[\[Image: Ecuador\]Ecuador](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=ec)[\[Image: Equatorial Guinea\]Equatorial Guinea](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=gq)[\[Image: Guatemala\]Guatemala](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=gt)[\[Image: Honduras\]Honduras](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=hn)[\[Image: Ireland\]Ireland](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=ie)[\[Image: Japan\]Japan](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=jp)[\[Image: Mexico\]Mexico](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=mx)[\[Image: 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Paraguay\]Paraguay](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=py)[\[Image: Peru\]Peru](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=pe)[\[Image: Puerto Rico\]Puerto Rico](/en/answer/around-age-7-my-cousin-a-girl-7-months-younger-than-me-exposed-me-to-pornography-i-cant-tell-if-that-would-be-considered-child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-or-normal-childhood-behavior-my-experiences-w?country=pr)[\[Image: 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Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

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Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1\. Where am I?

2\. What day of the week is today?

3\. What is today’s date?

4\. What is the current month?

5\. What is the current year?

6\. How old am I?

7\. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.

Try another grounding activity

I feel grounded and ready